A new beginning

I’ve got a new job. A new chance in a new place; albeit same company, I can make use of this change to improve something about me.

1) speed. Slow is my game. It is just the way I organize my thoughts and approach a problem. I think I need to develop the fast approach for now. Knowing when to be fast and when I can be slow.

2) waking up early. It has been 30 years. The sleep pattern is not something I like, shall be taking this chance to change it

3) back to exercise. It saves lives. I need to get back to it. My body needs it to be better, healthier.

4) New: Business acumen; this is something that I truly wish to develop for myself. A business sense.

Just 3 things!

Anyway, if you have read the previous posts, I would like to give an update here. The medical leave has been extended to 11 days! oh, my... rest rest rest! I'm ordered to add tonic to my daily meals. Does vitamin C counts?

In a bid to simplify, I want to write 3 things of myself in each topic.
Let's see how it goes.

1. Childhood

• Sneaking behind the door to watch tv when it was bedtime
• Being the boss, because I'm the eldest ;)
• Cheating my tutor to do less assignment!

2. Teenage

• Started with hair loss 
• Totally clueless but act as if I know a lot
• Lots of stupid acts but lots of laughter!

3. My family 

• Mum dowager, she calls the shots. Mum the healer, she cures everything.
• A loving dad, he transformed through the years, in my eyes.
• 3 is the best. Crowding around the computer playing games when the parents were asleep. Tried really hard to muffle our laughters! shhh...

4. Failure

• Essential to growth, albeit painful.
• Teaches you about perseverance 
• When the struggle the most, you are about to evolve! 

5. Love

• Is the feeling I get when I fall asleep beside my JQ
• Love is to show patience
• Love triumph anger

okay! That's all for today, I need to go make dinner for myself! 

The ultimate - 8 days MC! (Part III)

Since I've been feeling better, I want to test if I could stop at the 1st course of antibiotics. (I really don't like medications).

Made my trip down to the clinic to meet Dr. J, I think she's glad that I went back for a review.

Told her that I was feeling much better and I can sleep better at night plays a big part.
Asked if I can stop my antibiotics, she says if you are well, you can stop. And she started examining me with her stethoscope.

I still got phlegm stuck in my body (I actually don't know where there are....)
She instructed to continue with the antibiotics and gave me another 2 days of MC. I was shocked. I think she can read from my face, she said, "HQ, just look at yourself, you are not fit to go back to work." Yeah, I do look pale.

On a better note, she said I'm recovering and I look less "dead" since Monday. (yay!)
I can't go back to office because this is going to spread to others quickly in the office environment. I'm still weak and if I feel tired I may be hit by another round of infection. (yikes!)

Okay, I shall stay home.

She also gave me an expectorant which will help me to get the phlegm out of my body, I'm resistant.
My throat is still sore from all the coughing and now I had to cough my phlegm out again.......... argh.

22 March 2018, Thur

In the morning I usually spend some time coughing. Not that I like to get the phlegm out but it was uncontrollable. Eventually, it decided to relieve me by leaving my body. It was not a nice colour and it was blood steak in it! (boo)

I don't want to take the expectorant!

Called the clinic to check if I can skip it but Dr. J says it's normal, like you blow your nose too much you are bound to break some vessels. But she gave me the freedom to decide for myself regarding the expectorant. 

I decided to give the throat a 1-day break and take the expectorant the next day. 

24 March 2018, Sat

It's the weekend! The thought of my pile of work kept creeping into my mind. I'm feeling stressed.

Anyway the phlegm has turned clear but it's still there and currently it is blocking my right ear. (why?.....)

I'm thinking of heading to office to retrieve my laptop and get a head start over the weekend. 

Monday I need to go back to Dr. J and she wants to see me, (I hope for the last time) and I'll be cleared of this bacteria infection and go on with my life!

-feeling positive! (about my condition, not about my work though)-

The ultimate - 8 days MC! (Part II)

Night time is the scariest.

Everything seems to be aggravated in the night. I couldn't sleep even after popping all the medications. The fever went a little gentler on me, eventually I fell asleep amidst the discomfort.

The scary part is the dreams. I hated it. I'm stuck in a square and going round and round which I just can't escape! I'll wake up to break free from the dream and when I was knocked out again, I was back to a similar stuck-can't-escape situation. Imagine this happened a few times in the night...

It must be somewhere in the wee hours of the morning, I was awaken by the heat (from myself).
I don't want to look at the clock, because I don't want to know how many hours more till day break.

15 March 2018, Thur

Quite a few milestone on this day. I pooped! haha
Trusty coffee never fails to help.

The fever was less intense, it became low grade fever. 

I also started to develop a cough. My MC has ran out so I went to the clinic nearby again. The locum doctor gave me cough medicine that might have a side effect of constipation (errr)... Something effervescent to help dissolve the phlegm and another day of MC for me to rest through the weekend.

He told me I can't go back to office, this is definitely contagious.

I went home and start to research about THE FLU. Since I'm in it, might as well learn something. And I can watch out for signs that my body is recovering from it (or not).

The human body is amazing!

The immune system is so clever! You have your T cells and B cells that will make the antibodies specifically needed to fight the virus. You also have memory T cells and B cells that will keep records, when the same virus enters the body again, the fight will be over before you even know it!

WOW right?!

17 March 2018, Sat

I was feeling irritated with the fever, it just won't go away. I hate medication and I've eaten so much paracetamol over the past few days. I decided to head to the clinic again, hopefully to see a different doctor and also it's a Saturday, clinic closes half day and Sunday would be hard to seek help.

I went down with my bag of prescription to show the doctor and an umbrella to shield me from the 9am sun. To my horror, the waiting time is at least 1.5hr, the clinic was crowded with patients. I don't want to wait, I checked that my usual company doctor was opened and decided to head down in a cab. (Luckily, I was still dressed quite ok).

Met Dr. CT at the clinic and he found my extended fever suspicious. I told him this should be the the flu virus right? He said normally the fever will not extend till Day 4. He wanted to check if I had the dengue fever. I looked down at my limps and didn't see any red spots, he said the red spots usually appear after the fever. Anyway, he drew my blood and sent for a urgent check. If he calls me in the evening, I should be prepared to go to the hospital.

Without any other information, he could only treat my symptoms, and he gave me a different cough syrup which won't cause constipation. haha.

I felt glad to see Dr. CT because at least he tried to diagnose further on my bizarre condition.

I went home, thinking what if I get the call and what if I didn't get the call.
If he calls, then it's straight forward -> dengue treatment. If he don't, I really don't know what is wrong with me.

My intuition tells me, I don't have dengue fever.

The doctor called at 6:30pm

He told me I don't have dengue. But he saw a significant amount of infection in my blood. He needs to start me on antibiotics to fight the bacteria. I can either see him on Monday back at the clinic or visit another branch on Sunday, which was opened for 2hrs in the morning. I told him I'll see him on Monday.

18 March 2018, Sun

I coughed a lot in the morning, I think the phlegm builds up through the night.
It was difficult to get it out, it was almost like puking.
The colour of the phlegm was horrible. Dark yellow almost brown in colour... (booo)

So I decided to not waste a day and JQ drove me to the clinic in town.

I saw Dr. SL and told him that I'm here to get antibiotics as advised by Dr. CT from the blood test on Sat. He asked me what happened to me.... So I decided to start from the very beginning. I was talking slowly because I don't want to start coughing uncontrollably. He was obviously impatient, he cut me from my monologue and started to speak really quickly to help me finish up.

He took my blood pressure and prescribed me with antibiotics. I think he can see from my face that I've questions. He asked, "any question?" I said, " I thought this is a flu virus, but why it become bacterial infection now?"

In a impatient tone, "It can start with a virus and superimposed as a bacteria"

Okay, I don't understand and don't wish to talk to him further. He asked me if I need anything other medication, I thought he should be advising me, but I said no anyway (what do I know...)

Get 2 courses of antibiotics and we were out.

The pills were quite big, I was worried of swallowing and the pill was toooooo hard for me to bite in into half. It's not good to break the pill too. Recalling back to my University education, pills were designed with specific coatings so as to endure the journey in our digestive system to reach the desire location for it to start working / releasing.

So before I swallow the pill, I will visualise that I successfully swallowed it. haha.
Oh well, so far it has helped me!
It is not fun when you choke, with the pill in an awkward position and feel its slow slide down the throat.

By nightfall, I still don't feel good and the cough wasn't getting any better. I decided to update my colleagues that I can't return to work on Monday.

19 March 2018, Mon

I can't rest.
I can't sleep.
I was coughing the whole night!
It was misery.

I managed to catch a wink in the morning when the sun comes up.

I decided to visit to Dr. CT because I told him that I will see him on Monday and also I needed MC to cover for Monday.

Dressed better this time round and JQ drove us there.

I arrived at the clinic and asked to meet wth Dr. CT but I was told he fell ill and left early for the day. (wow, I hope it wasn't me)

I met with lovely Dr. J and she is ever so patient with her patients. haha

She last saw me on 12 Mar for my stomach issue.

She asked, "What happened to you, HQ?"
"A lot had happened since I last saw you..." I just told her about Dr. CT diagnosis of me on Sat and how I started with the antibiotics on Sun.

She was surprised that Dr. SL didn't give me anything else to help me feel better. Also the antibiotics is strong to the gastric, she will usually prescribe a protective medication together with that antibiotics. It was Day 2 on antibiotics, I could feel a slight bloated-ness in my stomach.

I think by this time, things are clearer to the doctor.
She said when I'm free, I can read up on Mycoplasma. That's what I've got.

She gave me a 3 days MC to rest properly and a lot of other strong powerful medicine.
I had to eat them all, I want to end this as soon as possible.

21 March 2018, Wed

Since the day I met Dr. J, I started to sleep better as she gave me all the "right" medicine for me.
Every morning once I wake up I will eat those medication meant for before food, about 20 min later I will eat my breakfast and then all the medication that is meant for after food. And I will be knocked out for 4 hours.


to be continued...
- I'm feeling tired now, I need a break and a shower before the sun sets -

The ultimate - 8 days MC! (Part I)

天有不测风云，人有旦夕祸福

Since I'm on a 8 days MC, I shall find some time to document this episode in my blog. It is quite memorable because I can't remember the last time I was awarded with an 8 days medical leave, including the weekends, I actually got 12 days! -unbeatable-

(maybe chicken pox might have rivalled that count, but that was kindergarten era...)

As someone who loves to think (too much), I've arrived at the cause of this battle.
I have no one else to blame but myself...

祸从口出，病从口入。

Mindless eating has led me down the path of illness.

11 March 2018

It was a Sunday, usually lazy for the both of us. We woke up at ~9am and ordered McD breakfast. This usually carry us through till the late afternoon.
In the afternoon, we went out for Jalan Jalan and decided to let the downtown line brings us to Jalan Besar! We were both hungry by then and went to the Jalan Besar food center for snacks. It was 4pm in the afternoon, many of the hawker stores were either closed or not opened yet. JQ said they used to come to the this place to eat turtle soup after DB training... (yikes)

With limited choices, we orders chicken claypot rice and 猪脚醋。
Both of the dishes were yummy!

But here's the problem, my stomach was really empty by then and I could feel the acid rolling around with nothing to digest. Then I ate a dish full of vinegar... my stomach can't help but to protest! I was a minor one, I didn't feel very good after the meal but I just ignored it.

We head down to my parent's place to have dinner with them and I've requested some days ago that I wanna eat spicy hot-plate stingray! I haven't had this for a long time, so my family agreed! Of cos, we added the complimentary goods that was sold together at the stall. You can imagine... dishes all looked red.
Mum being mum, will make me 八珍汤 tonic soup when she can. So I took the soup back to my home and I had to drink it despite feeling really full from dinner. (I didn't want to waste my mum's effort)

So it was a day of SUPER mindless eating!!! Looking back I feel so stupid... The variety of stuff I put into my body in a single day was really stressing my stomach. :(

12 March 2018 

Monday back to work, I still have the stomach discomfort carried over from Sunday, but it was minor, so I ignored it and continue with my day. By the late afternoon, it got a bit more of my attention and I decided to visit the clinic. Dr. J saw me and told me my spicy food days are over!! Especially spicy + sour combo (Thai food, mee siam...) I'm ok with that, because I'm not that particular about food. I eat to live, I have quite a high level of self-control with food (if I'm thinking...)

She asked me to go home to rest, which I did, anyway it was already 4pm in the afternoon. 

I have this habit that I don't like to eat medication, so out of the whole bag of medication she gave me, I only took probiotics. I felt resting and eating plain food should do the trick. 

She also said, I needed to poop and I will feel much better once I expel the toxins out from my body.

13 March 2018

It was day of meeting, I was in a meeting room most of the time, with 1 foreign colleague and 2 locals. 

I was feeling okay, getting on with my day, sneaking time in between to punch buttons on my laptop and getting things done. 

By the afternoon, 2pm I was feeling a shoulder and neck ache. I was thinking "ergo problem! I have been working on my laptop for almost the whole day!" So I stopped whenever I got the signal from my laptop, and took water break. 

It was getting worse, by 4pm, I can hardly sit down on the chair and look at my laptop screen. The ache is killing me!

I went downstairs for some fresh air and a walk, (trying to counteract the amount of sitting). I didn't feel better, and I decided that after the last meeting of the day, I'm going to head home, to stretch, to lie on the ground to do whatever to get rid of the ache. I even went to my colleague to tell him that being stuck in a full day meeting is very bad for ergonomics. 

JQ offered to fetch me home but I just can't wait. I decided to take the train home. Since I'm aching so badly, I decided to leave the laptop in office so I don't have to carry the extra weigh on my achy shoulders or strain my neck further. 

Zoomed out of the office, into the train! I didn't want to sit cause I sat tooooo much in the office.

I was feeling chills already, I know the fever is coming. 

It was a 45 min journey and once I got home, I wrapped myself in a blanket and lay down on the sofa, without opening any windows as I was having the chills.

I knew I needed paracetamol and before medication, I needed some food. So I ordered porridge via food panda and went to take a quick shower.

By then, my face was flushed. I could feel the heat emitting within me an escaping through my eyes and my breathe. 

JQ's home and wanted to bring me to the clinic. I protested because I just want to lie down... So I forced myself to eat a meagre of porridge and took paracetamol. 

Feeling slightly better, I agree to go to the clinic nearby our place. I was moving like a sloth, JQ drove us there. Luckily, there wasn't much of a queue.

Saw the locum doctor and he gave me medications for all my symptoms. I was having a high fever of 38.9C. He also gave me a 2 days MC and told me to come back if the fever persist.

Night time was the scariest. 

Everything seems to be aggravated in the night.  

to be continued...

- feeling drowsy now, the medication is taking effect, I need to go lie down- 

Hello 2018

Isn’t it quick?
I only had 1 or 2 posts in 2017 and it left me so quickly.
A new start in 2018, I told myself I have to be a better version of me.
I have found the theme for 2018.

Compassion, give, do
2017 was spent thinking about myself, my growth, answering my own questions. I’m glad I didn’t leave empty handed. Wisdom gained is mine, making me a better person. However, this learning is continuous. Glad there are people whom happened to be appear in my life to walk this path with me. What to do with it will totally my choice. Nobody can do anything for me, only I can do it with my own hands and energy.

Compassion is the theme for 2018 because I need to use my heart more. I’m a thinker and I use my head too much sometimes. I need to engaged my heart to feel and be compassion to people I love and to living things around me.

Give. I think I’m a taker, I didn’t give enough, if I didn’t give on autopilot mode I wonder did I even give? By giving I have to give whole heartedly, not thinking that someone owe me for should repay me in the future. Give because you can and you can help those who are in need.

Do. To remind myself that I have to do my best as it bears my name. Isn’t my name worth working hard for? Even if it is unrecognized I still have to do my best. As I owe it to myself, owe it to my name.