was searching for the gloves the team bought me on my 21st bday cos i'm packing my bag for mount k. i olmost climbed in the cupboard to look for it. den i saw this small light faded green notebook. the 555 notebook. not that i have it for years and haven seen it for ages. for it is forgotten. i pick it up. reading every single word written by them all over again.
every message bears a significant weight. you can feel it. so intense rite. thats wat phoenix is. the ability to bring you so high and also down. too intense that tears come together...
flipping thru the pages, seems to bring me back to then and reminded me of things...
showed alot of improvement in a yr time, keep it up, the passion, the way, heart in db.
saw ntu phoenix fighting spirit in you. to win others, you must win yourself first.
she likes green, also a greenhorn, hopes to see her turn from green to yellow.
have faith.
lets share the burden together!
i believe in you, you have my support.
all is well, there are seniors around to help always.
i believe your love for phoenix will keep u going strong, bring everyone along, a team sport needs the unity of all hearts.
the nothing-will-knock-me-down attitude.
you have me.
hand on heart, i believe u can.
have faith in yourself coz i have faith in u.
i have never in my life meet a perfect partner like you b4. I want to row together with you in the same boat, lets aim together okay!
wat we wanna see is not the colour of the medal but more importantly, the fight in you gers to attain what your truely desire the most.
how we transform our fears to courage to make it a personal win.
fight hard!
i dint find my gloves in there.
i found phoenix's love.
i found strength.
go read it too. you can find mine cos you left some of urs here.
Friday, June 30
Saturday, June 24
.a saturday without trng
.a saturday at home
.haven spend a whole day at home rest n relax for a some time
.she asked me y i sounded depressed?
.i dunno
.off balanced i guessed
.disequilibrium
.wanna breathe in deep
.sort it out
.be clear n focus
.rowing wise, kinda sucks when i make her wet
.yea i'm watching my entry and making a conscious effort to
.sometimes i just wanna roar
.STOP IT!
.i.just.want.to.make.it.good.
.a saturday at home
.haven spend a whole day at home rest n relax for a some time
.she asked me y i sounded depressed?
.i dunno
.off balanced i guessed
.disequilibrium
.wanna breathe in deep
.sort it out
.be clear n focus
.rowing wise, kinda sucks when i make her wet
.yea i'm watching my entry and making a conscious effort to
.sometimes i just wanna roar
.STOP IT!
.i.just.want.to.make.it.good.
Thursday, June 22
ONLY THING ON MY MIND!
inefficient
i hate it.
thats why sometimes i hate myself.
seems to be losing touch
i hate it.
but i cant manage my time well, i guess.
dun like to rush. am a slow pace person.
taking things easy. take it as it comes.
that day hang out with siok and shes just irritated by me. haa
cos i jus tooooo slowwwWWw.
like slow when i walk into the mrt cabin and den seats are being taken up.
like slow when i walk.
like slow when i talk.
yea i dun deny that.
I AM SLOW.
sometimes u chiong. sometimes u take it slow mah.
balance!
scared.
i hate it.
mud knows why. cos i made her scared too. haa
feeling bad.
on fathers day. cos i missed out. boo.
disgusted.
by things people say.
by lies.
sorry cant help it.
ANYWAY.
all these are nitty gritty now.
cos theres only 1 thing on my mind.
theres only 1 week left.
i want to make it good. rowing haven been fantastic, sometimes it sucks.
but at least i'm feeling its better now.
working on it!
getting it back. that feeling.
the feeling of feeling strong.
and i dont give a damn.
okie get on with it. i got so many things to do!
rarr.
soooo tired. tmr got reg.
sleep.
Friday, June 16
okie the very few penang pics i have till now!
messing with the dragon again and ham looks so cute here! haa
Friday, June 9
Tuesday, June 6
in a whole fat chunk
oo last entry was may 20. and today is 06/06/06.
haa so evil~
okie going back in time...
twEeee...ZZzzHHh...
was busy preparing to go penang. first time to an international race, pretty excited and dunno how we will do. the 2nd time i'm bringing the team out and its so much better this time. things go smoothly and i'm feeling more comfortable and prepared and secure. alot of ppl are being appointed as i/c this time haha and mr hee is the best bus i/c can.
rowed and drummed. this time drummer is not jus to throw someone up there jus to fill the seat. we are in need of a zai drummer. with that big fat cup ahead, everyone in that boat has to be zai. and from penang we know wat is drumming can!! my god.. the official on the speed boat is quite good huh.. they can even spot that i'm not hitting the centre of the drum can! wahaha yea active drumming.. use 2 hands.. hit the centre.. YAH OKAY laH. later on we did wat she wants lah haha.
i drummed for the 12 crew which dieded. was puzzled.. trying to find out exactly wat goes wrong. but sometimes mr hee jus say forget abt the lousy set. erMm but i really want to know wats wrong.....
went down for mixed and erm its different already. the stroke. steal more air time! i tried my best to! haha i really tried my best to shadow but still too different i think. and thats the end of mixed.
womens 20. was aiming not to go repecharge but den i've gotten myself into 2 repecharge on sunday. great. personally really looking forward for the 20 crew race. the repe was a good warm up set. then finals in lane 6. i think we are lucky. guess we are much steady when theres no boats beside. but we dont olways get those lanes you know.
but still was damn high after that set and ah hee was happy too. he let us go out in slippers! see how happy he is.. haha
all in all, its a great penang trip for me =) thou the best one was still the first one *grinz* hais.
i get to know my roomie better! haha the supposed to be funny liting. i keep saying her jokes are level zero! haa din really talk to her becos most of the time i want to sleep.... Zzz tired.
the journey was good. cos we got the whole bus by ourselves! i've long wanted a bus jus for ourselves but we nv seems to be able to get it last time.. oh well.. you know why~~
sitting right at the back.single seat. and slept most of the time. hoho. shiok~
den i think i'm kinda pmsing when i'm back.
in short.
daddy watch news
a coach flipped
daddy worried
daddy cant get me
daddy get jiaqi
jiaqi get hanming
hanming get me
jiaqi asked me to call daddy
my tone kinda 'wth'
made ppl upset
=(
back to spore den gotten prepare for presentation for the next day. wth can. anyway i anyhow prepare and anyhow present. den meet carol for dinner! haven seen her for quite some time. she olways got interesting things to update me. haa she seems to slim down abit. hoho i asked her if i look different? she said ermm darker lor. =\ oh well if u tell me my face is like abit less round that can really make my day know! haha
btw the juniors think i look like a blackcurrant. hei jia lun zi. cos my face is like ermm round~~ and we start imagining the things that the round and short handed blackcurrant can do. haha they just laugh at everything!!
i start to like making fun of them already. craps.
den was feeling hot for 2 days and then i got fever. missed my last ge lesson. went down gym to watch the gers ost. forgot my phone. and made him worried. oops. =(
was so scared that i will fall sick like last june race. damn bad. keep falling sick and cant get well. but i'm okie this time round already! back to trng...
last sunday was sOooo freaking hot can anot!! i really cant stand it running under the sun, eh think thats the first time i feel the heat overwhelming. and that day we can take a 15min break frm rowing. haha went up to have some cooling H20 and milo.
and i laugh at cuimei cos she got sunburnt. and after that i got sunburnt.
karma.
okie i jinxed myself.
aloe vera 100% gel is pretty good.
oh and the doc says i have v dry skin and it is "blah blah blah eczema" its a long name which i dunno obviously. and he says my skin will crack at age 40 and get a 'wat wat wat eczema" and he got me a 50 bucks sunblock!! kns... damn ex!!
and did you know. got many nice songs can make me v v happy!! yea =) i really do. its such a pleasure to listen to songs and chill...
i am here for you..wOOo olways here for you.. - firehouse.
Then we all stand together this one time.. Then no one will get left behind.. And stand up for life -destiny's child.
since after exams and coming back to trng, things has been better. me too. feel better. guess when the time comes, sometimes gotta learn to be less emotional and be objective. the things in my mind these days are more practical and logical stuff, not so in tuned with my feelings already. haa i'm losing my female brain!
was too emotional at times. gotta know when to switch to which i feel, oh i mean i think. aha
haa so evil~
okie going back in time...
twEeee...ZZzzHHh...
was busy preparing to go penang. first time to an international race, pretty excited and dunno how we will do. the 2nd time i'm bringing the team out and its so much better this time. things go smoothly and i'm feeling more comfortable and prepared and secure. alot of ppl are being appointed as i/c this time haha and mr hee is the best bus i/c can.
rowed and drummed. this time drummer is not jus to throw someone up there jus to fill the seat. we are in need of a zai drummer. with that big fat cup ahead, everyone in that boat has to be zai. and from penang we know wat is drumming can!! my god.. the official on the speed boat is quite good huh.. they can even spot that i'm not hitting the centre of the drum can! wahaha yea active drumming.. use 2 hands.. hit the centre.. YAH OKAY laH. later on we did wat she wants lah haha.
i drummed for the 12 crew which dieded. was puzzled.. trying to find out exactly wat goes wrong. but sometimes mr hee jus say forget abt the lousy set. erMm but i really want to know wats wrong.....
went down for mixed and erm its different already. the stroke. steal more air time! i tried my best to! haha i really tried my best to shadow but still too different i think. and thats the end of mixed.
womens 20. was aiming not to go repecharge but den i've gotten myself into 2 repecharge on sunday. great. personally really looking forward for the 20 crew race. the repe was a good warm up set. then finals in lane 6. i think we are lucky. guess we are much steady when theres no boats beside. but we dont olways get those lanes you know.
but still was damn high after that set and ah hee was happy too. he let us go out in slippers! see how happy he is.. haha
all in all, its a great penang trip for me =) thou the best one was still the first one *grinz* hais.
i get to know my roomie better! haha the supposed to be funny liting. i keep saying her jokes are level zero! haa din really talk to her becos most of the time i want to sleep.... Zzz tired.
the journey was good. cos we got the whole bus by ourselves! i've long wanted a bus jus for ourselves but we nv seems to be able to get it last time.. oh well.. you know why~~
sitting right at the back.single seat. and slept most of the time. hoho. shiok~
den i think i'm kinda pmsing when i'm back.
in short.
daddy watch news
a coach flipped
daddy worried
daddy cant get me
daddy get jiaqi
jiaqi get hanming
hanming get me
jiaqi asked me to call daddy
my tone kinda 'wth'
made ppl upset
=(
back to spore den gotten prepare for presentation for the next day. wth can. anyway i anyhow prepare and anyhow present. den meet carol for dinner! haven seen her for quite some time. she olways got interesting things to update me. haa she seems to slim down abit. hoho i asked her if i look different? she said ermm darker lor. =\ oh well if u tell me my face is like abit less round that can really make my day know! haha
btw the juniors think i look like a blackcurrant. hei jia lun zi. cos my face is like ermm round~~ and we start imagining the things that the round and short handed blackcurrant can do. haha they just laugh at everything!!
i start to like making fun of them already. craps.
den was feeling hot for 2 days and then i got fever. missed my last ge lesson. went down gym to watch the gers ost. forgot my phone. and made him worried. oops. =(
was so scared that i will fall sick like last june race. damn bad. keep falling sick and cant get well. but i'm okie this time round already! back to trng...
last sunday was sOooo freaking hot can anot!! i really cant stand it running under the sun, eh think thats the first time i feel the heat overwhelming. and that day we can take a 15min break frm rowing. haha went up to have some cooling H20 and milo.
and i laugh at cuimei cos she got sunburnt. and after that i got sunburnt.
karma.
okie i jinxed myself.
aloe vera 100% gel is pretty good.
oh and the doc says i have v dry skin and it is "blah blah blah eczema" its a long name which i dunno obviously. and he says my skin will crack at age 40 and get a 'wat wat wat eczema" and he got me a 50 bucks sunblock!! kns... damn ex!!
and did you know. got many nice songs can make me v v happy!! yea =) i really do. its such a pleasure to listen to songs and chill...
i am here for you..wOOo olways here for you.. - firehouse.
Then we all stand together this one time.. Then no one will get left behind.. And stand up for life -destiny's child.
since after exams and coming back to trng, things has been better. me too. feel better. guess when the time comes, sometimes gotta learn to be less emotional and be objective. the things in my mind these days are more practical and logical stuff, not so in tuned with my feelings already. haa i'm losing my female brain!
was too emotional at times. gotta know when to switch to which i feel, oh i mean i think. aha
i dunno. most ppl i love, few i hate and there are some i simply love and hate. hmmm.
raRRRR haven settle the race tee! boo cant get a supplier yet.. okok i will get it done THIS WEEK!
oh miraculously i cleared my exams. yea think i better stop getting my Cs and D to save my honours. oh well easier said than done. erm jus treat it that i never say den..
sooo sleepy already.
goodnite to you.