loosen up!

haha we won the pillow fight!!

oRh jas lao shi is teaching us sign language!! hMmm

well it simply reads F-U-C-K-Y-O-U..

den lao shi join in as the exclaimation mark!! haha

my love and i and ci'er!

my love and i *ke lian look*

my love and i..
oh man she looks like xiao hai zi~!

july babies cant blow candle!!

hahahaaha celine's double!!

3rd juLy at marina..

Ooo my first time drumming!

hohoho

stinkIES~!! rocks aLL the time~

righties!! the friendly ones!! haha

us wif celine and little johnathan

this pic SHOULD only contain cuimei and me!!
the rest are... well u know disturbances again!!

i'm being bullied!! as usual~~ haha

come and go..

that weekend was long awaited and den its gone so fast...

it was a valuable experience.

not in a mood to blog abt my feelings...

so just look at the pictures we've taken den...

yea more to come~

hey gers send send send me the foTos fast alrite!!

saturday morning

whos the joker on the right?!

here we go~

the other boats are out of the picture!

am so proud of them!

climbed into the VIP area to haf a gd view n fotOs!

ham and i~

ade love to sneak into my piCS!!!

you see!!!

NTU sa~!!

changi chalet by the beach...

so peaceful, love this pic...

how to deal?

ytd left the house wif yi du zi huo..
was so fed up!!
pls dont try to suggest alternatives when u know nuts abt the situation
pls stop questioning me!! u and i haf different view on this~ we can nv agree..
pls stop trying to control me!! u dont noe my priority, u dont noe how much this means to me.
pls stop thinking that i'm olways out to play n haf fun n waste $$!! i DO haf SERIOUS things to do..

i dont want to talk anymore. i dont want to explain anymore. i dont want to argue anymore.
just stay clear and dont do anything or i'll burst.

-----------------------------------------------

seeing the gers definitely lightened the mood by alot~!
eh dont worry, i wont vent my anger on the cute innocents.. =)

hearing dem telling me abt the trngs and the ppl and things ppl say..
haiz is a big yi han
but no matter wat I'M WITH PHOENIX!!
heart and soul...
on boat or not
I'M THERE alrite!!

-----------------------------------------------

be brave and lets leave these minor stuff aside.
you may think something is standing in your way, but nothing is really there.
i believe you will be better.
Let the fight begin.
-ben

thankz for believing in me.
thankz for giving me strength.

*hugs* get everything back ok?
-angie

tears start streaming down..
i dunno y..
i dunno wats the feeling..
cant describe it..

phoenix haf given me so much...
i'm thankful

see u gers tmr~

(-_-)(._.)'

why am i olways caught in this??!!
i WANT



yet i can't



there's olways something holding me back...



can just happily bang the wall
and die~

not a tear gland active person

but was down to tears when i received a few smses

they are jus sms frm teammates

telling me to get well soon...

dunno y but felt really touched..

cos nv expect dem to show concern

and it felt so good when u noe that they actually care!!

and u actually stand somewhere in their hearts..

okie i'm easily touched mayb...

no matter wat

i'm with phoenix!!

s o r r y...

i'm such a disappointment
i'm really sorry
i wont want to let the team down
esp at this time

i'm sick of telling ppl i'm sick~

anyway only got myself to blame.
so shut it.

one thing to note is that winsten let me feel really positive for a moment.
usually ppl will get worried when u tell dem that u are down wif fever but guess wat winsten said!!
"ni ming tian jiu hao liao lah, wo xiang xing ni!"
for a moment i felt woW~ thats hope!! i'll be good tmr!!
it really let me feel more positive.. cos he made it seems like its no big deal~
yea gotta haf happy n positive thoughts!!
ben u too alrite!!
your ankle will show great improvement by tuesday~
=)

mr sunny, pls stop biting my teammates while they are at kallang...
can we like haf more cumulonimbus... stratocumulus... altocumulus??!!
okie i jus mean clouds.

----

got my race package~ haa thankz
shall share the reward pack after race ya.

oh man its really freaking hot la..
alrite gg to snip it off...
now!


i'm okay.i'm okay.i'm okay.i'm okay.i'm okay. i'm okay laH!

in a nut shell~

--sunday--
freaking hot
rowing was bad
strokes kns
bruises
abrasions
blisters
are nothing new!!
bathing is a PAIN!!
wth.

--chalet--
very nice
super comfy
damn clean
food's good
love those chicken wings
oops~
cousins are quite fun
they've grown~~ oh my!
chalet wif many mums is good!
they do evrything
we jus play
n eat n sleep!
hoho
all worth it!
all had fun~

--tuesday--
trng's great
got the feel
love it
abrasion again
on my butt this time
shit la
will not wear that shorts again!
but theres still rooom for improvement
thats not to zam zhui!!

alrite super tired
duper sleepy
tmr's gg to see them draw for lanes!!
Oooo wish us good luck!

goodnite

oh and huimin is such a sweetie~
thankx alot... =)

okie goodnite~
bye *a fat white sheep waving*
haha

more than 24hrs!

had a great time wif ade n ben n huimin~

hanging out n just chill and chat...

den plus good food like chongpang nasi lemak!! banana prata!! soya bean!! pancakes!!

wHeeee~ =)

but i'm dead tired...

-----

sorry to let ur feel that way.. its never never my intention to purposely hide anything from u.. i jus feel weird talking abt it.. its just not me~

hope u can understand.. i wont wan to see u sad.. and nv wanted to be the cause of it.

am sorry.

am so busy these days... not that i haf alot of things to do
i've got many thoughts in my mind.
sometimes u see it but there's only so much u can do.
but anything is better than nothing.

it has been quite sometime since i have time wif her.
jus me n her.
all alone..
do the things i like.
relax and chill and clear my mind.
and that her is me.

-----

TRUSTis wat i have for evryone
dun gimme a chance to doubt the worth of that trust
cos its hard to gain back
if its ever lost.

RESPECTis exclusive
you gotta prove it
and earn it.
it dun come in a package.

FAITHcomes if u believe
if u believe u can,
U CAN!
u never know the strength of ur mind
until u put it to challange.
challange urself.

LOVEkeeps evryone warm
u never walk alone.
and u make sure nobody else walk alone too.
spread the love.

STRENGTHis strongest when we all come together
to dream together
to work together
den enjoy together.

today u may only b able to execute it perfectly for 3mins
but forget the feel of it
because the next day u are going to tell urself
u can do it for 3.5mins.
evry effort counts
its nv wasted..
get the feel
go for it!

goodnite.

take care!!!!

never a smooth ride~

gers please take care of yourself!!
pls pls ..

injuried ppl pls try to rest ur arm/ankle/elbow/legs more
dont over strain it... pls

not feeling well ppl pls rest more! slp more! drink more!!!
take vitamin C DAILY okie!!
it cured me~!!!

those physically tired ppl.. shall see wat we can do to help ya..
in the meantime REST when u got the chance!! haa

those metally tired ppl.. u are not alone! we are in this together!!
u've got many ppl to share it with u... lets pull each other along~
i believe we all haf a stong mental.
is only a matter of u wan or not.

Lastly, take care COS i care!!
we all care la~

and congrats to Singapore's victory at Penang!! *applause*

some days u just feel like an asS...

rowing's kns...

but the lunch wif all of them at marina is gOOod! lets have more of that ya!

the andersons definitely perks me up!
thanks for letting me haf a scoop while all of them bought 2 fat scoops LaH!!
haha but still i'm happy already =)

ben promised me prata!!
been craving for that...

haf tonnes of cravings la... like chicken rice.. curry chicken.. fish n chips.. prata.. chocolates!.. rojak..

wth i'm hungry at this time again!

alrite trng tmr~ hope it will b better!
gotta reach sdba at 8.3oam!!

den is ah sum's bday chalet which i cant make it
cos is June's 21st tOoo..

have fun evryone!! whereva u are going...

andersonz!! OOoo satisfied! love my hazelnut chip!

this is the 3RD take... like finally la.. haa

huimin yunci plus xtra cuimei~ hahaa

have a gulp of not- so-icey mountain tap water...hee

love this~ dawn is a good photographer! nice horizon..
eRm but wat is the black thing beside me??! oh~ is hAM! hahaha

hoho zee made me do this!! so girly lah~

i think this is really nice!! angie+zee+xx

i miss them..... really long time no see~

haha silly act again~

pretty~* sally grace

ge examz tmr~~

OOoo was really busy these days...
like there are endless things to do!

alrite after my ge.. i'm turning FULL TIME!
full time watever u want~ haha
yeah xw.. full time girlfriend! tell me wat u been wanting to tell me ya~
vice-versa la hor..

so tired
so sleepy
am i getting old?!

rollar coaster ride~~

things made me real happy..

next moment some news just make me sink...

that's the way it is anyway..

never like rollar coaster.

make me sick.

freaky funny world...

complicated.

when u feel u are engulfed in darkness
all u can see is ur shadow
u tried to walk ahead and it is still forever dark..
turn around...
the light is jus right behind u..
the light behind caused the shadow that u cant shake off.
walk towards the light and throw that darkness behind u...
there's olways hands willing to pull u along.
u choose the way...

smile again okie. =)

goodnite freaky funny world.

.happy and sad.

went for lunch wif ham jus now and talked abt the team, like we olways do... but hard on her these days cos i'm MIA...
saw yeling n bf at suntec too and then saw them heading to the carpark~ den *ding* both of us got some plan in mind!! we stupigly followed dem into the carpark till we reached her bf car and ask "hey yeling, u going to kallang now?" haha so silly rite.. no car ppl like us come into carpark for wat?!!
den she asked "your follwing us ah??"
"oh no lah~ we saw ur coming into the carpark mah.... ha ha..."

haha successfully got a ride to kallang! yeah!

the moment we were at sdba.. super heavy rain la!! -oh no.. is not my fault-
miss the gers so went to hang around wif them.. so happy to see them! :D it has been so damn long... esp those PA gers..

the rain lasted for almost an hour. den finally they are down on a big boat wif a tyre.. it looks so good.. a big boat filled. i want to be in there too.... my heart wants but my body cant...... -shit-
their strokes look good to me.. den they were out to the choppy waters, out of sight.

tot of reading my choice theory book while waiting for them to cum back but ber, marlau and a new fren joanne are there to entertain me.. den time passed by pretty fast..

i want to be back for trng!!! i really want~!! i dun wan to miss anymore... i said i'll definitely be back on tue. but the ber the marlau the yufen the cuimei the yunci all ban me...... -roar-

sad. :(
i dun want...... -sob-

okie tmr i'm going to buy vitamin C pills.
will make sure i'll drink at least 3 waterbottles of water.
and yes i'll sleep at 11pm.
kick my ass if u see me on msn!

i have no time.. i cant afford it.. i want to be wif phoenix for this race.

----

am not feeling small~ bcos it is still burning for those who believe.
n will not gif up on those who believe.
will nv gif up cos u are still holding on.
am touched.

goodnite phoenix.
goodnite to u,
whoever
wherever
whatever u are.

oh missed the team talk they had at sdba jus now....

fill me in haM~

nope yufen.. ur tone is not harsh~ i know u want this race

i want it too

this time with us together!

bOOo i want to cry.......

n i duno y.

crazy

going to sleep.

alrite some pics that have been stuck in my hp... till now

kallang at nite~ from cosy bay's top view

oasis

suspension bridge

carol~ on the bridge.. dun tell me u cant recog this bridge~

ah bao's bday at kbox!! its so fun to go singing wif them..

in the lib during mugging days~ acting cool wif sylvia's stuff haa

nua-ing saturday...

heard so much... big fat chuck last night... but i'm ok. they are still floating ard my head now. something which i have yet to see. something that is happening. something that is reality. so many things that i wanna think about. -daze-

so sian no mood to start on my ge project.. cant think of any movie that i can apply choice theory.

think evryone gotten their results. all i can say is bad sem. but sometimes there's the sun.. sometimes there's the rain. but dun give up cos the rainbow will come after the rain~
we are all learning to cope... some may have learnt it long ago cos they fell before. some may only face it now cos life have been smooth. some never learn.. i'm abit of the 3rd catergory.

oh watever.

on a lighter note~ on thursday jasmine lao shi made a wish when she saw the rainbow!! and that wish came true like 5 mins later!! hahahaha so cool rite.. den i immediately made a wish too~ haa jas wished that her running shoes will appear and ah hee found it in the store~ haa but we accused jas of hiding her shoes cos she dun wan to run~ haiz lao shi try harder next time ya. i mean in hiding the shoes!! haha

so u know wat to do when u see a rainbow next time.. can i see it again?? before june race?
pls pls~

weather is real bad. if u r sick. olways blame it on the weather!! haha i didnt initially.. but its really taking damn long for me to recover. why??!!
am taking the 'she' dan chuan pei thingy now frm jiaqi.. den daddy tell me to try dunno wat 'hou' zao. haha snake and monkey combined can save me not?!! hahaha
talking nonsense.. but i'll try! i'm desperate!!

wouldnt it be nice if the world is cadbury~ i want to be chocolate too!! like ben n hammy's hahaha

okie soon!! i'll b back~ permanent!

gym on tue... who shld i jio this time??

not a good rowing day...

got so many things in mind...

my GE project, gotta do a movie analysis using choice theory.. due next wed!
tot of using coach carter but cant get the vcd~ hMmm

gotta start planning for gifts to those graduates!! 1 month left...

gotta read that choice theory book... jun8 is the examz

am damn weak... gotta really trng hard!! hope my body will zheng qi yi dian~!!

left side left side hOwHOW!?

race is drawing near... 1 month left
can u feel it?
is there anything u want to do abt it?
dun wan to lose to them
esp them!!
weirdos running ard kallang~
am nothing by myself...
when is the ONEheart going to come?

lalallaa happy!

so happy last nite that i cant slp~

its all good now!!

aLL gOOd~

love the stinkies

hugs and kisses!!

wakey WAKEY!!

many things are not within my control, i haf no say...
thus spending time pondering... thinking.... whining....
will bring me nowhere.
i felt sad
was down
unable to understand
waiting for a change of heart
but how long can i trap myself in this?

looking at wat is leaving and missing out of wat is still existing.
a mistake.
we were all affected
but someone gotta put a stop to this!!
we cant sink further!!
time nv waits for u or me...
so lets be whiny, fallen, dishearten, shaken PRETTY DOLLIES NO MORE!!
i say NO MORE!!
this is not phoenix...
we've forgotten the spirit that is burning inside us!
we've forgotten the way we fought for MR
we've forgotten that our mission is not complete!
we've forgotten that june race is the REAL big one ahead of us
wat's burning hasn't extinguished...
we only forgot to listen to it.
we are clouded by too many things
i noe each and evryone of us got committment
responsiblities somewhere.
but this is a team.
we are in this together
it has never been 'rowing for myself... victory of myself'
we all play a part.
we take pride in trng
we make up for wat's missed
gear each other on
and not drag the others down
so lets get the positive energy going!!
self-motivate
and den motivate the rest!
time to pick up the pieces
gather myself back.
of evrything, the more i gotta be strong
hAM u tOO!!
u've got me
and i've got you.
remember?

MR is sweet... and lets make the coming one sweeter.
believe we can.
show that we want.
the rest will fall into place nicely.

our faith and spirit will bring us there...
make it happen!
with evryone in it.

i'll b back.

why do we olways do this?

it becos we r a team. am nothing by myself. together we haf a vision.

did u see it clear?

-PHOENIX SA!-

I'M NOT OKAY!!!

i'm sick all over again!! how could this happen to me~~ *sob*

fever hit an all time high! 39.5 degrees, think there's fused wire inside my head liao..

this is the 5th doc i've seen in the month of may~ definitely not a good month of me! -hmpf-

doc says i haven fully recover den din rest enuff so it came back....

haiz how i know it will turn out so bad.. =(

doc told me to rest for 2 FAT weeks la!
alrite and that's 7 trng sessions~

restResTREST!!! i know... i dun wan to die too... haa

gotta look at it long term rite... i hate to be sick...

oh this doc is really good, he gave me a discount! haha

cough syrup still taste as good...

haiz... i'll be back~

peace.

messy

thinking too much
is tiring
put too much assumptions
and thoughts
into ppl's words
assume~
ASS-U-ME
making an ass out of u n me
we are thinking out of our v own percieved world
if i say the word ' god '
wat comes to mind?
u may think of jesus
i may think goddess of mercy
she may think of dua peh gong
blah~
who is right to judge?
who is olways perfect?
we ain't no saint
we cant take our own expectation ruler
and measure others
simply cos we are all different
we are all complex creatures
and ppl change...
but ppl condemn ppl
wat irony
life is full of lessons
is a matter of u know wat to learn or not
can u raise above and take a look at urself
judgementally
the way u judge others
if u r honest enuff
u will see the imperfectionSSs
most of the time we think in the most logical way
v pragmatic
and this usually does not go hand in hand wif our emotional state
den again emotion is too hard to decipher
who knows wat is neglected?
u might weigh a 100 tonnes in my heart
u might nv know
we are not mirrors
proportionality not applicable
N.A.
so how?
i dunno me
i cant sort it all out
is too tough for my level of intelligence
den again this may be the results of thinking too much!
watever that are up in my head are all
PERCEIVED
mayb is just simple things
and i complicated it
watever.
things will loosen up and untangle by itself
i can take it
watever it is.
as i walk on i realised
happiness is the most impt
a bar of choc can make me so happy when i'm 7
now wat?
i learn to enjoy evry min of my good times
when it comes
is good to be easily happy
but wat happen if u r down?
is okie, i say
this is life
this makes u cherish the good more.
dont take it for granted.
headache now
off to bed.

gonE!

those little dots on my fingers are all gone!

and the most impt thing is I DIAGNOSE IT MYSELF!!

went to 2 docs and they said is nothing serious, most prob is something that i've come into contact wif!!

and so i thinkThINkthink~ IS THE DAMN SHAMPOO!!! ahaha

stopped using that new organics shampoo for a week and i'm cured! haha

-am i smart or wat!- wahaha

eh but my cough is back to haunt me...... is really terrible at nite... almost puked last nite..

howHOw??!!

i promised i'll be good and stop the chicken, egg and cake!!

wOOooHooO carol's master piece! theBULLYGANG!

will gif a brief history of BG next time~

feel good Inc.

wHEEee~ back to trng and it feels aLL so good! so long never see the few of dem~ like the ham the angsuat the fel the shit the orc oh the adi the ben the ting the jas the mindy the mr hee! and i'll see more of them this sat!!

forgot my flu med this morn but is still okie jus that i'm sniffing away.. and luckily mr hee din ask us to row more than 1 min! -sorry ham, keep hitting u today-

looking at my fingers now.. seems like the little dots are not so obvious already! haha kallang dirty water got healing power! ahha nonsense.. shall see how it gets tmr~

and i really want to thank the geRSs for aLL their care n concern! haha sound so cliche bUT i mean it! really thanks alot! =)
like this morn yufen even sms me saying is raining heavily.. if cannot make it den dont go down, dont catch a cold! haha even my mum oso nv say this to me!

yah i'll take care of myself~ is really not good to be sick... feels so weak n terrible la!
and u! take care of urself too okie...

my fault???!!!!!!!!!!!

hey heLLO can u get this rite???!!!!

if she's the one having the problem den u NAG at her!! not to me OK~

wat's the point of venting all those on me when i'm sitting at home and she got her ass stuck outside!

and stop comparing me and her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RRRRRRRRRaaaRRr
like hello i'm like how much older la!! wtf.

if u bu shuang her attitude den tell her straight in the face lah. i've already grown out of that, YOU should direct all ur arrows at her lah!!! she's the one that need to understand.. need to learn!

ridiculous~

alrite life is sad enuff... and stop reminding me.
please.

gimme 10 sec silence.
i dun wan to say anything out of anger that hurts...

how sianz la~!

wtf i got more little dots on my fingers n palms now~ eeEEee its abit scary.. but the doc says its nothing! not hand foot mouth disease, not watever disease, not antibiotic allergy, she says doesnt look like anything~

okie lor fine~ i think she's more like rushing off for lunch lor... she better be right! if the nothing turns into something else....... she's gg to answer for it!

gotta thank sis for accompanying me to see doc =)

and thanks her again for deserting her bedroom(n seek refuge at my bro's room), leaving it all to me n my virus~

been sick for like 6 days, not very much better. coughing like mad. once i start i can't stop! can't talk too much. staying in aircon will kill me. i can only seek solace in sucking lozenges, Tussils 5.

alrite, Tussils 5...

a light orange, circular hard lozenge.

to control non-productive cough.

adverse effects: occasionally dizziness, excitation and mental confusion(hohoho)

dun worry, i'm still sane if i can type all these.

can't make it to meet siok today. am supposed to meet her rite after my last paper. sorry ger =\

can't make it to meet sally last nite. actually really feel like meeting her cos i missed her bday partII, but last nite i was coughing non-stop n i'm tired. SORRY babe~

RrraaRrrr~ hate it when i say can den in the end i can't!

haiz alrite, next time don't agree to anything easily~ haa (better think twice n thrice)

haiz that day i accidentally deleted all my smses in my phone... i jus want to delete those in the sent folder but dunno wat am i thinking. i deleted all......... hmpf

lots of sweet, funny, cute, encouraging, motivating smses which i've kept for so long are all gone...=\

okie, a good reason to start afresh anyway!

today is MOTHER'S DAY!!! -mu qing jie kuai le, mummy =D-

eRrr this year din get a present for mum, but i PROMISED to get her something when i'm fit enuff to go shopping! bought mummy a cake just now at jur point. and the bus ride back nearly killed me. the air is v cold and i can't take it. i was such a coughing irritant! and luckily Tussils 5 saves the day again =)

am feeling so weak. feels like i've dropped right down to the valley. hope i can pick myself up soon~

alrite time for med.

my white blood cells: "Reinforcement has arrived!! GO GO GO, get moving!! those bastard virus are hijacking more innocent cells now!"

hahaa...

the fifth of may

all alone at home for the whole day~

resting my body...

listening to perfect 10 playing lots of great tracks today...

cool weather~ i love the rain (when i'm home)

my nose is still blocked... but fever no more!

and i start to love my lozenges~ hee

well almost had dao huey for supper... thanks alot to ber =)

but missed the mambo... missed the row...

alrite freak~ get well soon!

and ham too~

lucky or wat?!

feverish... sore-est throat ever... sneezing n sniffing away... pounding headache...

all these on my last paper~ very good lor... well done!

guess that tray of ferrero rocher is taking revenge!!

bOo...

saLLy's 21st!!

birthday part II will be at mambo~

guys from jss... long time no see~

them!