Marathon of Life

Whatever we see now is a snapshot of our long marathon of life. You never know what is the ending like, or if you like, who is the ultimate winner.

I'm wondering, in this snapshot a day in my life today vs a day in life 20 years later. What's the difference?

It should be different in physical; my movements will be slower and less nimble as now. I hope that my health will still be in a good state!
It should be different in value; hopefully by then I would have gained enough knowledge and experience that is valuable and therefore able to generate higher earnings in a day.

Ok can't think more for now. Reaching paya lebar for dinner with stinkies.

不要越走越远了……

An incident today made me think and reflect upon myself.

Have I become insensitive to the dearest people around me?

She: oh, I can't afford that, it's an expensive watch.

Me: no, only $199!

She: -silent-

I think that I'm being myself and speaking my mind but I've only considered my own perspective and was blind to theirs. 

I thought that I would just speak my mind and then if I'm wrong we can have a discussion about it, but I have failed to understand their personalities. They may not want to argue with me or they are really gentle people who will just absorb what I said and let it pass. 

I've become reckless and inpatient to the dearest people around me. I'm feeling sad and guilty for it. 

This is a trait that should be displayed at work in office but not to be taken back to gentle people like my family and friends. 

This is one post that I wrote with tears. 

A reminder to self to be sensitive again. Listen with my heart and speak with care. 

Spare the thought to think about others, others who are so dear to me and not just thinking about myself.

About to evolve!

Really struggling a lot in this new job. Maybe I'm about to evolve, when the struggle is really strong you are about to reach the next level!!!

I hope I learn something out of this experience. 

Something to remind myself is, there is no magic pill. there's nothing that will make me suddenly good or suddenly wiser. It has to be daily little steps, with consistency. 

Have patience and the endurance, pang!

Focus on something and work on it, stop searching around!  

Acceptance

tog rams Once again, I need to remind myself of this quote: 

grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change

the courage to change the things I can

and the wisdom to know the difference

oh, wait, it's actually different from what I'm thinking.

I need to accept that this is the amount of effort to get the job done.

Getting the job done will make me feel satisfied. 

Getting it done the way I want will ensure that it is likely to be a good job accomplish.

the dilemma is: I'm not sure if I want to put in the time and effort because of opportunity cost. Can I put my time and effort to other better use? 

Past experience tells me that I can't and I won't. This is because I can't let it go. If I choose to not do the job, half my mind will always think about it! it's like always on my mind, running as a background program. I cannot fully enjoy the present and do what I planned. This is totally a 两头不到岸situation!

Let's look at it from the other side. I always aim to complete the job regardless what it takes. I will feel miserable and no life and burnt out cos it's all work and no play and no me time and no family time. Won't be happy either, and soon will start thinking about this topic again. 

So... balance is key. Once again, no surprise. That balancing is the toughest thing to do.

What is the best way to balance this? To achieve personal happiness and desired quality of life.

I think it is to set milestone. Once it's reached, give self a reward. If we zoom in further, we can say weekly we need to achieve a certain target and we "earn" the Friday night and weekend! If Friday is too far away, we can give self a mid week target, to earn the time to log off on time and go work out! 

We need to set up a trade off or exchange rule. Because if the plan is too rigid then it can be easily broken, and once it failed at the early stage then it is less likely to gain momentum.

How can we allow ourselves to have an exchange system and yet do not encourage procrastination? 

hmm.

If I have other events in the week night that I cannot OT, I should forget about wed night workout? Or I should aim to workout earlier in the week? 

I think the latter, of cos. 

I should always plan for something to look forward to Friday evening so as to work hard for the week!

Note to self:

Between do or don't do. Always choose to do it. Because don't do, don't make me happier. 

throw it away or fix it?

Do we fix it or throw it away to get a new one? 

In today's life, we buy a lot of things and dump them away once we don't need them or once they are damaged.

Some things you can throw but there are things that can never be thrown into the dumpster. Like your pet got ill, throw it away? your plant is infested with weeds, throw it away? Relationship took a turn, throw away and get a new one? 

if it's not right to throw it away, then learn how to fix things. 

Epiphany 2

Happiness is not an exchange of something. 

Create happiness inspite of everything.

Now I believed that happiness is self created and not given by others and not in exchange of something. 

There's thousand and one way to be unhappy and we can do all that. why can't we do just 1 thing to be happy?

Create your happiness. Only you can do it. 

Be the joy among the people you are with.😊

23 March 2016

I cannot believed it. One year on since he left us, my eyes still well up with tears when I read about him.

Today is his 1 year death anniversary. I remember his strength, his determination, his toughness, his grit. I remember I can chase the rainbow.

His gift to all Sinagporeans, our lovely home, our Singapore.

Thank you Mr Lee.