well i dunno.

talked to red some time back,
she reminded me something.

why when someone under perform, ppl will think she's skiving?
why not ask if she's feeling ok? if she's sick?
is it bcos there's too much doubt in each other?
are we spending most of the time picking on each other, rather than really caring?

sets me thinking..

one cannot tell somebody to feel the way they should be feeling.
a feeling has to be felt.
bcos it is a feeling mah...
so only actions speak louder.

where's the joy?
mayb it comes from getting wat we ultimately want, but, as the complimentry product.
like enjoying fishing purely on fishing and not on the fish that were caught.
she's right..
i think just happy rowing and enjoying everything of it will unconciously bring her to the rewarding goal..
kinda just do it purely bcos you like it.
of cos that includes liking the nature of it. (competitive)

but with that cup, trng just to win and forgetting abt what is in it..
scary.
stressful. =\

used to be so looking forward to team lunch after every trng!
just hanging around and walking around with the gers..

seeing each other for so many times a week.
but why does it feel empty sometimes with some?
if doing things for the sake of doing it,
is definitely different from doing things with an intention that you are convinced of.
bcos wat's within is gone.
no substance.

like reading your notes 3 times before exams will give u an A.
but reading it 3 times and reading with your eyes only doesnt count.
reading has to plus understanding..
like going for meals together doesnt mean we will get to know each other better and get bonded.
i can go for lunch with my collegues for 6months, 5 times a week and we are just hi-bye.
but getting together is a means of getting to know better.
by talking and sharing heart to heart...
talking as if we are standing on the same level..
no one tries to over rule or judge too quickly.
it is difficult to talk when someone is agressive and that will only make the other defensive.
talk like friends~
its not that easy bcos you cant pretend to be one.
erm hard to describe, its just a feeling thing.

to row for somebody on the boat.
you will know it when you know it.
you cant tell someone to row for someone when she just feels like errmm your neighbour.. your tutorial mate.. your course mate..
it will just come across as an instruction.
she has to be someone you deem worth fighting for.
i did that before. bcos she's someone close to my heart..
bcos they gave me strength.

technique is impt, totally agree. its fundamental
but what gels us together will bring us further.

this team is warm, she said.
dont let it turn cold.

-my reflections my thoughts-

hais, sux.

something is wrong with me..

wrong with my arms.

:(

anyway, basic theory tmr morning.