Epiphany

elusiveness of happiness left me searching for quite some time. there were times where I thought I've figured it out and things have turned out the way I wanted but that feeling didn't seem to last long... pretty much self explanatory if not, there is no need for this entry!

Lots of hits and misses, clouded with presumed hits and unexpected misses, I do have random epiphanies occasionally.

this one was a thought that lingered with me for a week. Here goes:

I wondered about the life span of the feeling of happiness... which one will last longer?

Getting something the way I wanted OR Choose to be happy with whichever that was given to me

As I recalled some of life experiences that I achieved something that I wanted, I didn't think happiness lasted very long... 

Happiness lasted slightly longer when I got something that I didn't expect I will achieve. 

The point is that feeling of happy soon went away. In the end, one encounter after another, this has left me chasing for the next "something" I assume will make me feel happy. 

Therefore, getting something the way I wanted didn't prove to make me happy for long.

So what if I choose to be happy with whichever that was given to me? Will the feeling of happiness last longer?

Firstly, I think this is highly difficult. What's there to be happy about when we had a bad day... when we didn't get something the way we want to... 

tbc....

mrt has reached my stop!

the introvert in an extroverted place.

Feeling like this for a good 7 years. Thought I could learn it but it is not that easy. Part of mixed messages came from myself. Like I always wanted to be true to myself. I do strife for that as much as I can. There are situations where I forced myself and it indeed turn out well. However, another side of the story is all these are not good enough. You tried your best but you should be like more of this, more of that, blah.

I wonder if being me is it so bad?

I'm not saying this is the end of the road for me. I recognize how much I've grown through the challenges. 

How or when will you know that it is time to just be yourself?

Anyway I know there will never be an absolute answer to this question.

Mr. Lee is no more

The last week was filled with grief and sadness. Though the person is not my kin but the news was saddening because he was the founding father of my nation. And I am proud of my country.

Starting from the time he was admitted to hospital for an extended period, we kept hearing the news of his health condition. Then people started to send him well wishes and flowers and kind souls prayed hard for him to get well. That's when my emotion started to change.

There were many citizens who love him, respect him and were genuinely concern about him. Other than stirring an unfamiliar emotional I have had for him, my perspective was shifted from my daily grind to the birth and survival of my country. 

From the time he was PM, SM then MM, I was ignorant, apathetic and seriously taking things for granted. It was also "uncool" to listen to and agree with the government as an young adult. When he came for dialogue session in my university, most of my peers do not care or thought only weirdo will attend.

In the past week, after work was time spent glued to the television catching up on history which I already know but with added realizations. It used to be just facts and historical events that happened but now I see the determination of one great man who dedicated his life to ensure we survive, making hard decisions that may not be popular but proved to be important to our nation in the future.

With an added admiration of the leader that we have had, I reflected on one occasion that I sent in a feedback to MDA. Few years back, during CNY a local movie was on free to air TV. Typical of local movie depicting days of early Singapore, it was filled with characters of different dialect. I caught the show in cinema before but while it was on TV, the dialect were all gone and dubbed over with mandarin. I thought the show had totally loss it's essence. My feedback was to keep the original language but providing viewers with options to switch just like Korean drama on TV. The gist of the response was, dialect too similar to mandarins and they did not want to misled / confuse the younger viewers via free to air TV programs. 

I thought about young Singaporeans not knowing their dialect and won't be able to pass down this language to next generations. It was precious culture that will be lost. 

Now I think bilingualism is a good policy. We have an official working language and we know our mother tongue because that is still who we are. Our sense of identify is Singaporean. We will not be define as Hakka, Teo Chew or Hainan. The path on bilingualism is already not easy, few are really proficient in both. I took reference from the street interviews done, young kids now can hardly speak mandarin, what more to think about dialect. 

His vision was shockingly accurate in most issues. I cannot be more amazed.

Why only upon his death then we look more deeply into his life's work, I don't know. But I'm glad that I was truly inspired. Inspired by this great man recognized by the world. Inspired by this great man who built this home for me. 

Thank you is not enough. 

I will contribute to keep her progressing and the small but unmissable nation in Asia. 

thought of the day

how to deal with someone who is asking irrelevant questions? 

answering it is wasting time

not answering is like agreeing to their point...

hmmm.

Another New Year?

Okay, hello 2015, another new year has come.
This also marks 10 years on this blog! wow... not that I post entries regularly but it is still amazing that I have 1 blog and it has been in existence for 10 years.

*clap clap*

Spent the last 2 weeks of 2014 without work, and the feeling was wonderful. Time was spent with my darling exploring new places in an old destination, learning new things and improving myself.

Of course, with the time I love to do what I do a lot...

Wondering in my thoughts.

Gandalf said, All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.

I wondered about time. Each of us were given the gift of time to live...

Assuming I lived till 80 years old with an abled mind & body. With 12 hours each day that I can utilised to do something of my choice. I would have 350,000 hours worth of time.
Till this age, I have spent 131,400 hours to become who I am today.

Were the 131,400 hours squandered or well used?

Only I can answer this question.


And then, what's next?
Another 219,000 hours of my time. How should it be spent?

*secretly feeling glad that it is still more than half.*




tick tock tick tock... gone by the seconds.
Quickly take action!

the big 3 is coming!

Woah... turning 30 this year.
Time to do some recap and count my blessings! :)

Looking back is always so easy, sometimes you don't even realised that you have stepped back into the past again. The reason is because the past is vivid and we have experienced it. Looking forward is  not that easy, but if we can imagine it more vividly, i think that can help!

I do realised that for myself. Lesser resistance to spend timing digging into the past, and so I do it more. Time for a change, great that there's awareness that makes the first difference in change. :)

Recently watched a conference on happiness, there are 2 types. Natural and Synthetic happiness, both can make you equally happy but the society deemed synthetic happiness as the inferior kind.

Let me read more on how to create that synthetic happiness.

Just thinking.

Having random thoughts sometimes. 

1) The Powerful Machine

This machine is so powerful yet I know so little of it. This machine keeps me alive and functioning everyday yet I don't exactly know what it does. Some people are worse, they don't even know the parts and location, yet they are carrying them around. I am so amazed by our human body. without health I can hardly achieve much more in life and yet there are times that I hurt my body with knowingly bad decisions. Kinda the brain and the body having a love-hate relationship? (Haha! Sorry laughing at my own joke!) 

Please take care of your body and be healthy. There are already so many unknown illness that may hit us and in addition, sabotage from our own brain! (addiction/lack of discipline/ignorance) If we are not shaving years off our lifespan, we are adding suffering to the future self. 

Strongly believe that we should take care of our health! 

2) How to live my life?

Most are not surprised by this question of mine. I have been asking myself this a lot especially when I'm in the late twenties. I read that 33 is the happiest age, so I got a feeling I will figure it out by then! But almost 30 years come and gone, how come I still have so many questions? 

I'm still seeking but I do not have the courage to drop out of this rat race. The most recent thought, what is 2 years out of 80 years? It's 2.5% of my estimated life on earth. So I think it's totally reasonable to take that 2 years to think and decide what I want to do with the rest of my breathing days. because I do not want to exist but I want to live.  

But if I look at 2 years of annual income, I could do a lot with that amount. 

Then again, in another words. I have sold my life for that amount. (!!!)

Some can live it in between, a mixture of unhappy to gain income to attain the happiness. I wish I can but I still can't be truly happy. I'm seeking for something really deep inside. The real reason that can convince me.

1 year after - anger management report

1 year ago I set a new year resolution to keep my anger emotion in check. I kinda forgot about it until I relook at my older post. 

You must have guessed! 

I have already internalized it! because I cannot remember my last outburst of anger. I'm calmer and not easily tipped off the edge with my emotion. I can recall the most recent episode when I'm not happy with the driving skill of a cab driver, his constant change in acceleration brought me an unwelcome friend, headache. feeling displeased and considered to voice out my comment but when I looked at the driver, he's in his sixties and its late, he's sending me home... I had a long day, maybe his day is tough too! he spoke to me nicely when I board the cab, he gave me my quiet time during the ride. his eyes always on the road, driving attentively and slowly, too slow for my liking. BUT! Maybe that's the way he knows how to drive. at least he's driving safely and not recklessly, he knows his way and do not need my guidance. I arrived home eventually, with a headache and feeling nauseous and I took awhile before I said thank you to him. the key point is, I identified I have a choice and before I tipped over to anger, I found reasons to stopped it.

I'm glad there was awareness last year which led to a resolution to change and now I have widen the gap of my neutral state with outburst of anger.

peace. :)

there's a hole in the world tonight~

the hole in my life cannot be filled with what I do/know now. something is just missing and I cannot put my finger on it. it's has become more apparent in the late twenties. with the hands of the clock ticking by the seconds, years has passed with me making no significant progress on the feeling that I seek. 

it's so tough, especially when what I'm seeking is so vague. 

firstly, I do not know if this is a search and find journey or acknowledge and change journey...

I doubt there will be an eureka moment but more of me making a decision to dare to trust myself, my instinct. 

FaMily 💛💚💙❤💜

Spent the weekend staying at home with the Pangs. I'm so happy as I miss them much! after spending 27 years together of cos! 

reminds me that I'm the big sister, and the responsibility of being one. the ability to be a pillar has given me great strength and taught me to look beyond my own personal problem. 

mum having a little difficulty with health. I'm sure she's not beaten but just shocked by how things came to her one after another. On route on bell palsy recovery and an onset of menopause. I'm sure it's not an easy time for any lady to bear. dad has been there supporting mum these whole time but as children, we can do better! with 4 of us together supporting mum, it will cheer her on more and lighten the stress on dad. 

thing is, not all the pillars are strong now. Struggling with each of our problems and challenges in our individual life, we have weakened.

I realized when we look from a different perspective, start to look out of our small litttle circle, we can see our problems are real small. there are still many blessings we can count! 

At some point, we have to stop looking within on our own problems. 

I want to be there more for my family, support my mum to go thru this rough patch and pull the bro and sis along to shoulder more responsibility because we all have to now, as adults.

Life is not easy breezy but we must still remember to count our blessings! With each day, we have a another chance to make it better.

Fighting!💪

What is a successful day like?

Recently saw a tweet asking what is your definition of a successful day?
Ellen Huerta mentioned for her, it is a day where she have been present and compassionate.

Tuned into 100.3fm every night when the hubby is not around, i realized how much i have missed the radio and definitely the chinese songs that I've grew up with. Heard a snippet over radio, an interview with Xie Anqi, a Hongkong singer. She has a new album dedicated to successful women and to encourage the ladies in today's world. A measure of a women's success is not just about career but how she managed her family. If she has handled both very well, people will then judged her on her appearance and dressing. How tough it is to be successful, in other people's terms...

We can say easily that we don't let the world judge us, but it is so easy to be a culprit. My success depends on how my boss appraise me for the year, getting promoted is almost equal to being successful! If you are in the rat race, that is how the game is.

Must always remember your self worth, outside of your career. Work is huge part of life ever since graduation, but it is not something that can consume all of my time (equals to life), that whatever left of me after work, is for me to enjoy my family & friends.

So when I think about my definition of a successful day...
It is a day where I have done the needful at work and maintain my bond with my family & friends or building new bond with my "new family".

Am really tempted to include quality time spent with self where i can reflect. kinda stretch target! Review this next time if that can be included.

One thing at a time!

Now I just want to lie in my cosy bed! :)

Imagination

the power to imagine pain of others when you not have to experience it yourself; empathy.
you can choose to shut yourself from all of these, apathy is an evil in itself.
then you have merely existed, and not lived.

Cognitive Dissonance

one of the more unlikeable human attributes, self justification.

this protective mechanism enables us to sleep peacefully at night and frees us from self doubt. We see what we want to see, ignore everything else that contradicts our view. we look for arguments that reinforce our position. 

why do we find it so difficult to realize our mistakes?

there's often a big gap between what we think and what we do...

freaking fast!

nowadays the week just flew past, it's Friday night already. phew.. day in day out.. spending time on work, albeit more interesting, but I'm wondering if I'm making things better? because I'm so sucked into the task of doing and getting it out my way, I didn't think of more efficient ways or new processes to compete it in the future... How to make it better? my boss challenged me to always think about this... almost 2 months into the job already.... I better start having antenna up!

Routine is tough?

If someone can follow a standard routine thru out for a few years I really 佩服！Because that is consistency! it's so tough to be so consistent (predictable)!

For me, routine will reap my soul off! I'll become dead... sometime 一帆风顺 also not a real blessing. Anyway, 一种米养百种人，all sorts of people with different preferences. That's why this world is interestingly beautiful! 🌈

我不禁地感到惭愧。

Remember the day I said I need to be tough?

It turned out the day I became my boss's worse nightmare...

I feel frozen in time for 2 days, reasoning with myself in the head of how this episode can be avoided. People and tea mates are kind to speak that it's not our responsibility. Kind words are soothing to the ears but not a total truth I can rationalize.

Yesterday night JQ said something really woke me up when I told him I really don't understand why I didn't think of this...

"when you are rushing for time, things get missed out."

Time and time again we were told not to rush, but I didn't stand against it when I felt rushed.

This morning, I have another conversation which set my thinking straight too. Just a simple instruction to him to pass some tools to another colleague and he recommended a bigger version of the tool that he has! It does not fit the purpose but I thank him for showing me the tool!

He replied, because it is for my work area, so I want to give the best!

:) He has such pride and ownership in his work.

His name is Palani, he's from India.

Be tough!

Negativity everywhere, complains... grumbles... swearing... scolding...

We all need a dose of positivity everyday!!

Today I shall be as tough as this kitty!

Heartbeat part 2.

went to have my heartbeat check by another doc and he says I'm perfectly fine and I have a slow and steady heartbeat of less than 60/min!

I wonder why the diff.. think the other doc got problem with his machine and refuse to accept it!

anyway I downloaded an app that can measure heartbeat by requesting your index finger over the camera! I think it's awesome cos I cannot figure out how it works! haha

And yes my heartbeat is 55/min.

Heartbeat.

stress management program in the office, the last time and the first time in my life someone told me I have erratic heartbeat.

Told me to go get an ECG.
Don't give a hood.
Today review again.

Same erratic heart leh.
MAYBE I'll make an effort to walk to the clinic tmr morning and speak to the doc.

I feel totally fine, other than my 每况愈下的fitness, restlessness at work....

still ok lah!

我居然败给了。。。pms!

Started the year with this resolution and something that I'm actively tracking: The angry emotion.

Maybe what happened last weekend was not surprising but it does strip the truth naked in front of me.

Pms affects my mood! guess I already know but glad to have a stronger awareness of it's destructiveness. Strong enough to make to me unable to hold it back even on a leash. I wanted to let it go but I just couldn't know how to feel cheerful again by changing my emotion. I attempted, really.

But of cos, JQ came in to save the day again but coaxing me and held my hand... :) And then with a hug it just went away...🎉

Problem is, how to manage this part of the month better?

I'll soon find out...

first breach of the space of choice.

At this scenario I've unknowingly gave up my option and dash across the space and became angry.

why so?

impolite people just irks me, I guess.
especially someone whom I'm suppose to look up to...

they don't earn my respect but maybe it doesn't matter cos I'm suppose to refer to my previous post.

extinguish the anger now and don't let it consume me and the rest of my day! :)

口是心非。

I think I need to be more like that.

Watch and learn.

脾气performance!

I've got 1 occasion that I was tested. Think I did well cos I didn't loss my cool with an angry cleaner at the hawker!

at that point in time, there's awareness and yes, I do have a choice on which emotion to display.

Now need to 持之以恒, to keep practicing it! After a while (21 days? 60 days?) it can become a habit!

These few nights we have been watching this show, Game of T hro nes before going to bed. I think it's a bad idea, I haven't been sleeping well! Disturbed by my dreams! like escaping 2 nights ago, play dead cos someone wants to kill me last night! argh!!! No more!

好脾气，是最佳服饰！

On some days I can easily lose my cool. Getting irritable and easily agitated at people around me, especially people that i do not know. 

Like entering a shop and receive a poor service, I'll easily give a frowning face and be impolite. 

I don't think poor service is norm and should be accepted but it's my behavior that I'm unhappy with. 

I don't need to react the way i did. I don't need to be nice but i can just don't be angry and walk off if I know i'm done.

I don't like the emotion call angry.

I want to learn to be more tolerable towards situation that will be tossed in my way.

You are strong enough

had a bad day at work starting this week but what the hell... who doesn't have bad day... set backs.. trip and fall... unhappy people especially with you.

came home and pour my sorrows to my darling and he's always there to pick me up! I'm so lucky in this life to have awesomest people who matters to me!

He was so sweet when he told me, in the morning before he left for work, he saw a sun ray peeping through the curtains and it's shining on my face. He came over to hug me and cos he felt so loved and happy to be married.

And that made me cried.

I truly blessed.

resources

if I had all the time in the world, what would I do?

if I had infinite time on my side, what would I do?

time to start dreaming.

Quote from a principle

Do not let a number define who you are.

Good Morning, Gonna Rain.

the sky looks like its going to release a curtain of rain. I thank god I'm in the bus already.

I carried this thought to sleep last night. somewhere between a realization and a reflection that I drifted to sleep.

met someone and he asked me, hey you worked in oil n g as coy can you tell me what's the implication of exploring shale gas?

erm, a very superficial reply. I only know that it's natural gas. my pl ant is still using crude as feed.

he went on to talk about geo politics.. reliance on middle e ast countries for energy sources...

everyday I click into my coy intra net I can see news like this but I didn't bother to spend the time to read it. working days are always zooming pass me, I'm lucky if I can leave work on time. That makes me so micro and how I fail to look at the big picture of things!

要放眼看世界！

this Friday I'm meeting my batch who entered the coy together. the last time we took leave from work and hang out for a day of KTV and steam boat! boy oh boy.. that was 3 years ago...

tell me about time.. if you can hear it, it's ticking every second away.

one after another

one busy weekend racing down boat quay is done! came
home with nothing this time round..

up next is the cousin's wedding.. yet another busy week.

thinking of which, busy is like the new normal.

So let's just say it's another normal week for me!!!

Sore throat and feverish

as this year is only left with 2 months! I'm trying to take stock of the year.. maybe later I'll try to recall from Jan onwards.

generally feeling failing on all fronts as my time management is killing me. social, familIES, work, cca, interest, myself. fwah... everyone got something to complain about me..

How ah?

totally give up on something and focus in the rest?

Give up on me time?

I'll reflect and sleep on it as a parting gift to 2012.

Being Realistic

without skill who would need you?
without going through the hard work how to enquire the skill?
without failure how to gain the experience to raise above the rest?

without a skill, you are not valuable.

the lesson to learn

I finally realized what is the lesson to learn here...

When the going gets tough, learn to be more focus and efficient in my thinking.

Finally completed the assignment!

the abstract and the realistic! movin' on! movin' on!

Onto the computer to get some photos edited!

4 books this year!

set the target to read 4 this year, so far so good! last quarter of the year and I have 1 more to meet my goal!

I personally like The Firm best!

What's the next book?

The Gen Y passion problem...

Read an article that describe how the gen y are misguided by the phrase "follow your passion".

This phrase became popular when we were in school. Follow your passion actually means first identify it then go with it.

In actual fact when they find out how people succeed, it include early years of hard work before the love developed. Love it the first day when you do it? Hardly.

There isn't any phrase to describe the real process. Maybe what the author suggested....

Skills first, love later.

33 is the happiest age.

I read that at 33, you would have shed the remaining naivety and accept the life of adulthood, also at this age, you will be sort of having a comfortable earnings to enjoy things that you like.

As I'm approaching the big 3, in few years time. I do think I dropping the smile from my face more often. Less easily tickled with stupid jokes. wanting more me-time and less play.

When doing the same job, i will just tell myself, just do it lah. Get it over and done with. I do that most of the time but it's getting easier.

Ha... I think this is growing up.

Ps: I use less of !! in my writing. I'm getting more calm and less excited...

expert?

Don't call me an expert just because you want me to do something for you.
Praising people to make them feel good and hence do the job for you? Calling me an expert just make me think you are so superficial. *roll eyes*

Half dead. think the period is coming, wish it come soon! Don't want to be stuck in this foul mood and the half tank energy level...

An old song came back to sooth the mood and pleasure the hair cells.
Don't feel like doing anything!!

Here's the song lyrics, which till today then I really take a look at it. Such a sad song...

Blessid Union of Souls - Light In Your Eyes

I can't remember the last time that we kissed goodbye
All our "I love you's" were just not enough to survive
Something your eyes never told me
But it's only now too plain to see
Brilliant disguise when you hold me
And I'm free
I've been thinking and here's what I've come to conclude
Sometimes the distance is more than two people can use
But how could I have known girl
It was time and not space you would need
Darling tonight I could hold you and you would know
But would you believe

There's a light in your eyes that I used to see
There's a place in your heart where I used to be
Was I wrong to assume that you were waiting for me
There's a light in your eyes
Did you leave that light burning for me

Cards and phone calls and photograph pictures of you
Constant reminder of all the things you get used to
Is there a chance in hell or heaven
That there's still something here to build on
Or do you just pick up the pieces after they fall
But after all

There's a light in your eyes that I used to see
And a song in the words that you spoke to me
Was I wrong to believe in your melody
There's a light in your eyes
Did you leave that light burning for me

Should I keep on waiting or does love keep on fading away
Fading away

It's been a while since I've seen you so how have you been
Did you get my letter I wrote you, but I did not send
I tried to call your old number
But the voice that I heard on the phone
I recognized but she told me the number was wrong

There's a light in my eyes but it's too bright to see
And a pain in my heart where you used to be
Guess I was wrong to assume that you were waiting here for me
There's a light in your eyes
Did you leave that light burning for me

Exploring

Creativity is seeing what everyone is seeing but thinking what no one else is thinking.
- Tham Khai Meng

MY X'MAS Present!!

Darling gave me a xmas present last Sat, fresh from DHL!

that's the kindle!

I LOVE IT! :D

He helped me stored all the books he has, especially the Best Books of 2011!
i'm currently reading Step hen Ki ng, 11 22 63. Pretty interesting so far.. I thought the idea of time travel was clinche but i'm still reading on to see if it surprise me!

New toy makes me want to read and I hope I can complete 4 books this year!
baby steps cos I typically have no patience to complete a book.... unless it is HARRRRY!

okie, goodnight people.
I'm in deep shit.. i get more awake the later it is and i'm totally zombified in the morning...
boo..

Jan already lah!

today attended a wedding luncheon, sat with the same people and then he made a comment

we see all of your grow up in the company...

from graduation to getting married, i added

and maybe even being mother!

*gasped*

and maybe even being a grandmother!

Ooooo...

am I really staying in the company for so long? fwah! till retire leh...
but I am touched when he mention that, because it goes to show he want the people to stay in the company for long term.

zoomed. the end of 2011.

fwah.. it's the end of 2011 already~ what have i told myself to achieve in 2011?!

To figure out what i want to do with my life..
sadly, no answer yet!

but i did expose myself to whatever i want to!

did golf... and it is too expensive a sport to play.. don't really have interest in it as well. hmm
learning singing! enjoying it and there's more to learn about it! looking forward to my graduation in Sept 2012!
Makeup: sort of learnt it myself from the net and workshops. stocked up so much more powders and cream this year!

But still.... there is no direction i saw this year.

but today, i'm inpsired by home grown entrepreneurs that made it abroad! I'm amazed! they are mostly young indivduals that developed own brands and went international. I'm especially in awe by the women who made it big!

For 2012, one thing that i've decided is, I'm going back to school. To learn something different and new. What? I'm not sure yet...

okay! off to xmas partyyyyy.

happy christmas everyone. :D

What's the value proposition?

lack the courage?

I kept thinking it's the courage that's required to make a change... to dare to go for something you believe in.

like you are in a tunnel, but you are at a safe place with some light. But this place is not where you want to stay. What will make you take the step and leave the light and move towards the darkness, the unknown?

Logically, I think I wouldnt step into the unknown and leave the light when I dont even know what's out there. Hence, having courage is not enough... so what if you have the courage to go there to look for a better place when you dont even know if there's pitholes that will make you fall to your death.

So I think, the important thing is knowledge. What can give a boost to your confidence? What can make you come up with a more informed decision?

go seeking...

discipline, time to come back

this 2011.....

only 1 thing that I really need to figure out....

What do I want to do with my life?

Simple. Very focused.

Just 1 question to answer.

To achieve something that you never had before.... you need to do things that you've never done before.

Driven by this saying... I am going to EXPOSE myself in the year of 2011!!!

Go do things that I've done before... go learn things that I've never learn before...

to seek.

1st up! GOLF... eh this was planned since end of last year... so for 1Q 2011 that's done!

2Q, I wanna go learn singing! I love music, tunes and melody can stir up so much feeling in someone... it's amazing! such a pity that i gave up on piano when I was young :/
Never too late anyway :)

2H 2011... let me think about it more! maybe go learn about make-up?! It's another amazing art!

Hello~ this blog is still not forgotten!

WOW! we are reaching the end of 2010! the last time i blogged was 31 May.

Crazy fast, this year... anyway every year just feels faster and faster!

how come I'm still the same old me? I was thinking about the achievement I had this year... then I thought there seems to be nothing worth mentioning.

I dream of huge radical changes! but that's just a dream if there's no actions to follow on..

ONE BIG answer i must have is....

WHAT DO I WANT TO DO?

There's no point thinking about what I DON'T want because there's just going no way as well.

Been in engineering and I feel this is not me.

It has been a mistake since.....eh... uni? jc?

but it's okay, at that point of time of my late teens, that's the best decision I could make!

Can I get pass everyday like that? Going to work, hopes the day end soon and get home and feeling what am I doing or what have i accomplished and go to bed.

kinda sad, and that's definitely NOT what i wanted with my life!

人生短短几十年。。。what am I going to leave behind and what will I be able to create?

I'm still searching for the answer.

But I believe.... that I will feel passion in life again.

mum has a different idea, in her opinion, everything is good, be happy that there's a job and there are ppl around me who are willing to lend a helping hand when I'm in need.. I should be contented with my life.

Seriously, I understand how she has this mentality... and I agree that it's not a bad life.

But something is missing!

parents are looking at your life with thru their life experiences of what they lack while they were younger...

BUT this is my life. My life is not to fulfill your ideal..

of cos, I do take my parents' words for serious consideration~ I'm still quite a good daughter okay..

okay, I shall continue to seek! and I will find it, god will help me find it.

for now, i shall go to bed and reeessst and get well for the Bully Gang Count down party!!

I got 2 days of MC for my bad throat... :S

FAREWELL 2010.

一寸光阴，一寸金，
寸金难买寸光阴。

we all learnt this in pri sch chinese class right? i forgot the rest of the verse!
Point is, once time is gone, it's gone.

烦！

不知为何而烦。。。

但就是打不起敬。。

是呼醉生梦死。

没有推动力， 不会为任何事而感到兴奋。。

眼前没有了目标，不知要往哪儿看！

jiaqi says this is burnt out.

i think getting the music back to my life can do a little help!

okie, it's monday... fug.

grow up/

it just popped into my head yesterday and it seriously got thinking deep..

That's to spend the next phase of life with somebody else.. to include this man into every decision and thought you're going have.

to build a family with someone you love.. what does it have to take?

firstly there's must be love, of cos.

Next, the added responsibility to be somebody's Mrs. not forgeting the connection of both the extended families. Being the daughter-in-law, grandaughter-in-law.

Finanical committment to fund the assets to be owned together. currently i'm not invloved in the things in the household, mum and dad did everything.

personal living habits. this is gonna be a huge challenge to me. I'm a SleepyHEAD! I have problems waking up everyday... goodness :/ I cant expect him to wake me up every morning right... even god will get pissed, i tell you.
Not forgetting the being last min attitude.. rushing here to there and be on the dot, phew~. it actually has improved a little since younger days but there's still rooms for improvement.

He's sweet, he says he'll still propose to me despite all these. :)

But that's not what I imagine me to be after marriage.

How can you ever be ready?

Yes, Love is like the wonderful thing that can resolve many issues after you understand it but daily problems still need practicial solutions

I can think of kiddy fuiki has to take a step back... Grow up!

Bottom line is I can't be non chalant about many things anymore.

shall leave the thought of being a parent till much later....

新年快乐！！！！！！！

虎年行大运！！ HUAT AH!

hmmm actually dont need to huat lah... just wanna be HAPPY!
HAve a fulfuilling year ahead with everyone dear to me being happy and healthy!

I start to experience the common qn of CNY... When you getting married?

ERms. not hurry man! seriously... Just graduated in year 2008.. haven even enjoy life yet!
Shall have more fun... see the world before stepping into the next phase of life and take on an additional responsibility...

Now.. still got some time to bum around and chill and relax and have fun!

anyways tmr is back to work!!!! 初四开工！！

of cos feeling sians lah!!! total 6 days off work already!!! haha ok lah its time to get back into action!

JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU!!!

don't be a waste of time

grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change...

and the courage to change the things I can..

and the wisdom to tell the difference.


was browsing in the bookstore and happen to see this. quoted by a pastor which I couldn't remember.

everyday is such a madrush now... the things that are piling up are never ending..
sometimes dont even have the time to eat lunch with a relax mood..
sometimes avoiding lunch at canteen to "save" time by working and eating..

now 12hrs seems like a norm :(

all these actions are driven by love or fear?

rushing through the day and forget about kindness that can be rendered to the ppl around..
gone is the human kindness bcos there's "no time"

gone is the ability to listen bcos mind is occupied by what am I gg to do next... does what this person is talking relevant/benefiting to me..

gone is the energy to enjoy some personal time on the weekdays.. get home eat dinner bathe koonz.

searching for a meaning.

crasy madness

pisssssed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hais, anywhere still have to get it done.

JIAYOU!!!!!!!

kick the ball out of your court, FAST!
bcos there's always thousand and one things to do.

and do it right, if not its just going to come round and round and round back at you~

ROAR!

some ppl are just (*$%#!%#%@

its okay.... deep breaths.....

no point holding it to heart.. just wasting energy...

okay get back to the stupig report...

still in the office~

need to be faster!!!

so as to do more stuff in the day!

efficiencyyyyyyy!!

jia you ME!

I WANNA ENJOY THE WEEKEND! :)

time is not CHEAP!

now i realised, time is super precious!
i just realised i shouldnt spend my time on stupig stuff or on not so impt ppl... (sorry to say that)
cos along with my 24+ years of life, i've accumulated quite a long list of impt ppl!!!
which i always wish i have more time with them...

other than time.. ENERGY!!!! even thou its not lost or created..
i've wasted so much of them!
age is catching up :/

gotta be more focus and smarter~!!
LEARN TO SAY 'NO'!!

hmmm, alrite time for bed...
zooooom pass OCT pls!!

laughter in the air!

okie i'm pretty happy that my old CRT blackout and now i'm having a new LCD monitor :D
so big and clear!

last nite had a bday celebration for qlei and jun and as usual i've enjoyed myself.
our gathering is olways filled with so much laughter! there's no quiet moment, think the waitress was pissed with us being so noisy..

after stressful day at work, nothing beats having a good laugh :)

there's so much things to talk about... and when u have siok siok around, she olways got something to talk, non-stop!! haha

alrite, today's is OCTober......

I WANT TO SKIP OCT!!

hais, anyway... like i've said, no matter how hard the day is, there's only 24 hrs and it will pass eventually....

NO REGRETS!!! do your best...

31 days to my holiday... yipppppppee :)

i miss the gym...

keep on movin'

no matter how hard the day is
no matter how long and busy the day is
no matter how sucky the day is
no matter how everything seems to go against you
no matter how much time you spent, you still can get it done
no matter how difficult is it...

everyday there's only 24 hrs,
and it will pass,
eventually.

keep on moving, keep on running.
keep your eyes on your goal and you wont see the obstacles.

hello its back :)

running round & round searching for something better, but actually i already have the best...

so hello, welcome back!

life's a whirlwind..hardly got time to think and reflect and listen to that inner voice...
i feel i'm being sucked to this whirlwind, when i'm just having my own fun, strolling in the park..
events after events... deadlines and deadlines.. sometimes the question came.. what am I doing? why am I doing it? but there's no time to come to an answer... all i can do is to clear mess after mess along the way... but as I clear it up.. I move deeper and deeper into this whirl pool.. when I finally find my answer will it be too late to come out? or it will be difficult to come out since its already so deep..

I dunno, but 1 sentence is true. If you don't plan for yourself, you'll fall into others' plan.

my body is getting crasy.. failing me so frequently..

I want to be there. my heart is there, but my body is incapable.

ermmmms

everyone says good goood eat.

FIGHT ON!! FIGHT ON!!!

I CAN.
I SURE CAN!

It's just if I want it or not.

phoenix spirit!

:/

i care hence i say
if i see and i kept quiet abt it, that's equal to i dont care
i've said my piece, the ball is in your court now.

i've many areas to improve on too, bibi, let's jiayou together.

4 FAT days of MC

First time in 3 months that i'm down with flu again. previously i got my vaccine jab, its pretty good! healthy for 3 months....

and now.. boo, started with sore throat and sneezing and running nose...
and then come the fever!!! oh god

so i really gotta go see the doc...
he says based on statistics, there's 90% chance of getting H1N1 *yikes*
so he awarded me with 4 days of MC!

the first thing i can imagine is the amount of work thats gonna stack infront of me!!! ROAR.

and the fever went on for 3 days and taking that medicine reallly reallly makes me feeel lighhhhhht... airy... giddy.. i have shaking hands and difficultity speaking..

so i went back to the doc, he says the cough syrup and tablet for fever will make me feel light-headed. (double whammy!)

so he gave any another prescription for cough and good old panadol for my fever...

i gotta stay away from my family so as not to spread any flu bug.. boo.

poor jq got the flu bug from me, and he gotta stay home for 4 days too!hur

alrite i better get well sooon! cos i have JI this weekend ( there's no reserve for right) and gotta meet the bullies!

YES I WILL GET WELL!!!!!!!

happy thingssss

havent been here for a long timE!

let me state some things that i've beeen happy about!

phoenix's victory!!!!!!!!!!!! it has been 2 yrs... WhOOOohoOO!

BINTAN getaway!!! its dam cool okie, our villa is wow! right in front of the beach with clear waters and you hardly see people there, so it only belongs to us :D we are planning for one again near xmas!~ hee

catch the GSS! eh i didnt buy much.. only bought books from HaR RI S, some ORIG INs products and a new D KN Y frangrance...

okie guess that's about it so far... haa

time is flying away as usual... from now till next year 1Q, my life is pretty much filled up.. oh and there are many many weddingsssss coming!!!

2 of my cousins wedding in Dec...
1 colleague in Jan
1 colleague in Sept
Shanne in OCT! and i'm going to be the emcee... oh my gawd! hah

jam packED!!!

quote -
why some are finding it hard to stick to their plan? bcos there's always something "more important" that pop up to fill their time..

if you want to achieve something that you've never achieve before, you have to start doing things that you've never done before...

cheers to phoenix spirit!
-keeping it with me-

as i wonder...

Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Choose your words, forthey become actions.
Understand your actions, for they become habits.
Study your habits, for they will become your character.
Develop your character, for it becomes your destiny.

arghhhhh

its the lousy feeling time again....
super unmotivated!!!!
or all along it's like that?

just can't seems to remember a shit.
why like that????

i just wanna sulk and stay at home.

OHHHH, the sch bill came!!! so its $362 per months for 72 months!
goodness, my monthly fixed expenditure just keeps increasingggggggg...

sch bill
computer loan
insurance
one installment

yikes!!!

no choice gonna cut down on other stuff.

no meaning lah, seriously. whats the meaning?
tell me?

hunger pangs (pun intented)

i feel like eating....

ROTI PRATA (kosong + sugar + curry!)
XLB (小笼包）
pork knuckle!!
gooood wanton mee... hmm

okie can't wait for dinnnner!
happy cos weekend darling drove us to eat PopEyEs at T3! whee :D
now 1 craving is down.. hur

sian ah, so many things to think about...
I dont wanna to think.
but being lazy feels very bad too...
oh well, can't be happy with life (in general)
but just be happy lah...

ok this is a brainless entry. :D

watever.

ehhhs

decorated with sarcasm, littered with praise.

alive when i sleep, half-dead when i wake.....

zom-

every mondays feel so duh....

definitely having monday blue..

dont wanna think.

thank god, my muscle ache is not as terrible than 2 weeks ago. -heh-

just upper body ache rather than neck to calves that time!!

MR this weeeekend. i'm so going to take leave on MONDAY~

contemplating to take one more on TUESDAY!

hurhur.

ello

THIS BLOG IS UNDER CONSTRUCTION!

scroll your mouse over the round things above and see what happens!! heh

SUPER ACHEY! after ntu trng. goodnessss.

i'm just dam chui.

literally ache from my neck to my calves!

and today is tue and i'm still walking like a penguin...

heh but its okay lah. once in a while and there are other alumni there too. its pretty fun!

just hope i will stop aching when sat comes!

i think 一切完美 is a good show. its very meaningful and i like the controversies and dilemma it brings out in about people..

but i like 石欣卉 theme song better.. the lyrics are super meaningful.

on a side note, just wanna throw in some random thoughts...

i tot i just realised that my eyes are the greatest distraction to me.
and then a few days later, this tot is refuted. becos eyes only take in the information, its the brain that does the interpretation... so whatever distraction is from the brain..

i olways wish that i can do whatever i want only when i wanna do it. but this cant be it.
if it is so easy then i cant probably be goood. so most of the time, you just gotta do it. becos what needs to be done has to be done...see it as a bigger challenge then.

i just watched Matrix again when it was on teevee last sunday. i realised i didnt understand it at all when i watched it 8 years ago???
its a good movie. the person who tot abt it is so so smart!

okie time for bed.
gooodnites

She says,

A MAN SHOULD NEVER ASK HIS WOMAN FOR MONEY.

IF HE DID, HE'S NOT THE ONE.

what sld i do?

It has been 7 months since the incident and it keep poppin up once in a while...

should i be strong and pull it up and brace watever that may come

but at the end of it, I said what I want to say and put my point across..

even thou after what i've done, the end result will only be so minute.

a part of me cant give up on the idea becos I cant be so weak,

and stop here just becos of 1 obstacle...

i must try to push it as much as i can, bcos i sld not tolerate this.

nobody raise it up before doesnt mean that i has never happened...

I dont think i shld just accept this and say, just my luck.

you get what i mean?

some pics...

eh duno how to rotate this pic, but we had pork knuckles!
yummmy




fruit beer for me, schneiderweisse for darling.

I miss

TUTU.

okie dejavu...

did i write this before??

hmmmm... relatives are coming to my place for some feasting, and i went to market with mummy in the morning like 9am.

i woke up so early becos of trng but in the end it was cancelled lah...

this weeek was kinda energy low... i think period is cominggggggggggggggggg.

damm.

faster get over it, i neeed my energy for the sail pass trng!
NEXT week.

sometimes i feel that life is always ahead of me....
is it normal?

HAPPY 牛 YEAR!!!

WHEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

新的一年又来了！！！！
非常的兴奋。
穿新衣， 吃好料，拿红包！

HAPPPPPPY :D:D

but before that, the toilet awaits me...

oh did i tell you....

that everything is like putting up a front :/
ppl says things that they dont mean.
they say it just bcos it sounded nice.
wat the heck.

i kinda cannot take it.
this really makes ppl aged.

but watever fugging hell it may be.
I'M JUST GONNA BE ME!
I dont like to lie.

and hey, I'm not going to trust.
and we are not frens.

ROAR

can you STOP SCREWING UP MY THINGS!!!!

NOT ONCE BUT TWICE.

WTF you doing!

screw it up den leave the mess to me.

TMD.

i'm being very nice in the words that i choose, so you better leave me alone.

HAPPY 2009

Yesterday's party with the bullies ROCKS!!

Our theme this year was FASHION DISASTER!haha
and everyone really really put in their best and be as disasterous as possible!!
too bad the pics are too exclusive. cant possibility let the others see how we can destroy our image.

hur super duper funny and the WORSE dressed won! congrats to XIN XIN!!! ha

It's a
N
E
W YEAR AHEAD.

New year resolution is to have a grip on myself.
okie first starts with my work tmr.

gooodnite

shingleback lizards

a male take 2 months to court a female...
they stay together in love for more than 20 years...
even after death, they still stay together...

as much as i hate lizards, its so sweeeet...

Watch OKTO, Life in Coldblood.

THE FINE PRINTS

on Citibank Step-up Interest Account.

I was there to sign up for credit cards and I was introduced abt this savings account. heh since the happening saga over all the investment banks, I think it really make ppl more cautious... and it occurs to me too.

I've signed up the account but after reading the brochure and ALL THE FINE PRINTS... I can tell you a clearer picture abt this.

Generally, the selling point is, your interest steps up from 0.3% to 1.2% after 1 year, with a 0.075% every month. Condition is, every month the minimal balance has to be more than the previous month. If not there will be no increase in interest rate.

Preferably, credit your monthly salary into this account but if you don't want, just put in the minimal of $5oo every month, as I was told (seems like a good deal i think). However, with just 500 every month, you cannot maintain this account without additional charges.

Because, if you only put in 500, you'll enjoy free monthly service fee ($10) for 3 months only. After which, if your bank balance is less than 2000, you gotta pay $10 every month.
By simple math, 500 x 3 = 1500
SO.... how?

Another point, if your minimal balance falls below whatever you have last month, your interest rate will be reset. Reset to which level depends on the amount of money in your account. Example, if this occurs at the 10th month, with your interest rate at 1.05%, your interest rate will be reset to the 9th month interest rate, which is 0.975%, PROVIDED that you have at least 10,000 in the account. But 500 x 9 = 4500
SO... once again, the minimum 500 is not enuff for you to enjoy the attractive interest rates.

Lastly, I realised it is not so easy to enjoy that 1.2% interest after 1 year of stepping-up. Because you need to have a minimum of $20,000 after 1 year to get 1.2% interest. So by simple math, 500 x 12 = 6000
hmmm it looks kinda far from $20,000 rite?

oh well, the impression I get from the sales agent make it very attractive but now I dont think so. I'm going to cancel it.

Read the fine prints next time!

back to passsion.

hooohooo

i feel so so so so rested after the 3 days of EAT SLEEP MOVIE. heh *happy*

but my weekends killed me. it zapped all the recharged energy away!!

but I feel goooood :)

heh db-ing still has this charm ya... or more accurately, is the db gers who has the charm! :D

sat morn was lilies trng... den i head down to bedok for alumni mixed trng and I TELL YOU THE WARM-UP WAS CRASY. ah hee made us row 2 FAT km. hurhur. but i actually feel good. i think its fun... haha it has been a loooooong time since I last felt the kick like this! -sweet-

After a year of coxing and resting that shoulder i'm finally back to rowing!! -yeah-

ok since I started in jul this year, it was quite crappy..... hur

but till now its getting better! :):) heh at least I made some improvement lah.

I think its not perfectly good yet but for now my shoulder dont hurt when I row..

so I'm very happy about it.-whee-

realisation still occurs to me... its actually kinda the same thing as 4 years ago.. thats dont let my mind jump out of me... jus focus on NOW.

and i actually missed 3 weeks of tennis lessons becos I dun wanna tire myself out and to rest enuff for the weekends!

but i'm definitely going back to lesson next TUE!

race this weekend. hur and the laorens are the only ones representing NTU.

like what jq says, the namelist looks impressive lah, but wat will happen.... we dunno yet! haha

ok lah, at least we look good on paper!

nic~ gotta watch over us for the race okie :)

THIS WEEKEND, WE'LL ROCK REGA TTA.

hee.

i'm on leave!!!!!

weet~ i'm on leave but 3 days only... but its kinda better than nothing.. it feels so gooood to NOT DO ANYTHING! yups, i miss my laid back life..

i sort of figured out why i fell ill every end of the month since i start working... becos i used up my energy by the end of the month and my body immune system just broke... hur so i think i NEED to have at least one SLEEEP LATE day in a week. I still quite cannot get over the fact that i have to wake up as early on sat as the other weekdays... (RARRRRRR) but after rega tta it sld be better... I need my SLEEEP!

and ben says i've LINES on my face!! and mum tells me i'm aging!!
faints..
and so I went to get myself some facial wash, mask, eye cream and moisturizer! hur


Active charcoal mask to clear pores


Make crow's feet fly!


Skin rejuvenating treatment.

haa, i like origins.. cos they are parabens free!

okie, i hope i dont age so fast!!!! ladies gotta take care of that face yea!

OBAMA!!!!!!

winssss. i'm looking forward to the change.

CHEERS to obama

If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right, you'll probably never do much of anything. - Win Borden

the only small dog i like

WHITE POMERANIAN!

so cute!

les choristes

its a beautiful show....

jean baptiste maunier has such a wonderful voice. so sweeeeeeet~

please watch this show if you haven.. the ending was sad and touching..

ok maybe i'm easily touched.

haa

but it makes me fall in love with choir..

the passion of a teacher who never give up of his own dreams and bringing dreams to the kids others deem hopeless..

in the end the kids learned but it was time to say goodbye.. but they never forget abt him..

i guess what's most precious for a teacher is to know that you've touched lives....

Paralympics!

I salute the paralympians!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I tear when i saw their games... :'( and also feeling uber proud of them when they look so happy with their medals :)

sitting volleyball.

100m sprints.

wheelchair basketball.

wheelchair tennis.

singaporean Equestrian won Bronze!!

I feel the spirit in them. 残而不废！
i'm really touched. the amount of hardwork to put in to overcome the disabilities..
and we the abled body people complaining with a bit of running or cannot do this and that..
such a shame.
they are strong. much stronger than many of us.

CHEERS TO THE PARALYMPIANS!

http://en.paralympic.beijing2008.cn/sports/index.shtml

huh!

half colour.....................................



sians to the max.

but actually its doesnt really matters......


but WAT MAN...

half colour.

she's going to heaven.

Nic, Nic bo Bic
fanna fo Fic,
Fee fy mo Mic,
NIC!

hur, i sang this to her once.
last week was crasy.
it was a weird occasion for gathering.. but i would say that was the time i get to see some ppl whom i haven met for a longggg time.

it was sad, heartbreaking but some news really make me feel comforting... like xw's dream.
I just feel happy in the midst of all the saddness.

I really think she's going to heaven. not just becos she's a great person, like wat her sis describe in the eulogy... but in the Buddhism, my dad says he think she's most likely to go to 天道 or 极乐世界 in amitabha's land.

then i think and look at my life, i guess i still got a long way to go to be qualified to go heaven. kinda duh. but living in this life on earth as a human is closest chance to go to heaven at the end of life.. but i seriously think i still got lots to learn and haven done enough good deeds to go yet. and yes, it makes me want to be a better person...

in Buddha's teachings, recarnation is not the best... its actually better to leave the shell (your body) behind and free the soul.

I've got lots to learn and i better make the best of wat i have while on this earth.

看开，放下， 自在。

some pics.

boring. cant wait for olympics to start~
but actually i'm very busy! heh.
alrite i gg to bed.. enjoy the picsssss.

zili's wedding.. i think i'll have many more wedding dinners to come!
and there's hen night! hur quite a funnny name...

tutu~ i miss her! boo.

short and long~ when i have short hair i miss my long hair.

when i have long hair i kept complaining abt it. heh.

HUR some crasy stuff we do.

stop the itch!!!

RAR, the itch is back... mayb its becos of my shower foam. oh well i'm searching high and low for the palmolives orange one but its all sold out... hmmm.

anyway. recently i realised some ppl olways use "complaining" as a common topic. the first thing they talk to you abt is their unhappiness and disgust over this and that... blah blah.

and its really irritating. its may SEEMS to be an easy topic to start but its just so uncouth. and you dont know you may have just offended someone with your first sentence.

i just think dont do it often lah cos it makes the person unwelcoming..

and its the first week of schoooool~
i did miss abit of it... like thinking i'll be running to LT to lwn to print notes and have lunch with the gers or go back to hostel.. heh. all these come to mind but my time has passed..

waking up freaking early in the morning and feel so useless bcos of the lack of knowledge. RAR.

anyway happy that the gers are back home safely~ :)

i'm gg to sign up for TENNNNNIS class! wheeee~ so happppppy! :)
one more chance to have a shot at it! ahhaa

but nowadays i do feel uncomfortable with having compnay.. i still like being alone and doing things on my own... mayb its bcos i'm pretty used to it...
now it feels weird to have company to do this and that....
mayb its time for me to open myself again.... hur.

DAMN.

alrite, ridiculous world with ridiculous people.
gooooooodnite.

i miss burning my calories and my heart pumping hard....

crazy earth

people are becoming crasy. hacking strangers in the streets when you are in a bad mood... or hack your boss when he gave you a hard time.. scary man!

natural disasters everywhere. phoenix is dangerous and powerful. huh.
first in taiwan den Fujian.

I kinda have doubts that olympics can carry on in peace....

luckily its still safe at home.

but earthlings gotta save the earth, somehow. if we are going to extinct like the dinosaurs...

millions years ago becos of volcanic eruption, large amount of carbon are released into the atmosphere, den the dinosaurs cant live and so they died. den they became fossil fuels!

and we found the gold! energy for free!! now we are busy digging up all the fuels and using them and releasing all the carbon back to the atmosphere. HUR.

acutally earth can pretty well take care of herself when she's warming up... like what she did to the dinosaurs! haha...

oh well... SAVE THE EARTH!
recycle papers.
conserve energy.
switch off when not in use.
go public.
increase the air con temperature.
don't take plastic bags when you have your own bag.

every little ways help :)
let's go green

beeeeen a longggggggggg time...

hello. my blog was so dead for 2 months as i was busy trng and trng for the 2 months!

and its all over now. the days just ZOOoooM and everything is history already.
firstly, I'VE GRADUATED FROM PHOENIX!
i can't believe it... 4 years and i'm done with NTU.. *sob*

events of the last ju ne ra ce still fresh in my head. even thou its over but they just keep replaying whenever i'm stoning. honestly, there is still a tiny ache in my heart. we didnt get our hands on that damn cup. jq was telling me... this feeling will never truely go away until you see your team win it back. becos that was how he felt, the defeat they had last year disappeared as they crossed the flags. congrats to the guys team!!!!

never give up.. never give in...
i was watching the P M video just now and it just refresh everything at this hour again.
BUT it was a good fight. being with the gers for this sem was memorable. from that M R till this ra ce... everyone worked hard! i'm so proud of some seniors who come out of their own shadows and in the end gaining and learning more. towards the final show down, i could feel the whole team walked in the same pace. i have to give the year ones credits to this too, becos their attitude made a difference to the whole team. they are very cheery and positive bunch! and their feat in the final is WOW. they really showed me ONE HEART.

way to go gers! you promised to win it back next year. hurhur. yea some did told me that. haa. i should have filmed it down. (like wat i stupigly promised to join alumni in one of the video! hur)

ah hee was right, he said, you dont win everytime so most importantly, you have to enjoy it.
I truely enjoyed that journey esp that last 2 months. even thou we had problems here and there but everyone come together to solve it right on time.

and meiyan asked me if i'll miss all of these before the ra ce. I told her my task is not over yet until ra ce end and i know i have to move on from here.

now i really have to move on as the time never waits. i will be starting work soon on the 14th. and will be training with them before i start work! ahha so it is still back to sd ba... and i can still see the gers! heh

anddddddddddddd i will join the alumni as promised... years back!!

but not so soon lah... i gotta figure out my plans on the work first and take a little break from the sun and i'll be BACK!!!!!

these few days, i've been sleeping and sleeping cos i'm feeling so tired and restless...
and i seriously cannot stand the sun. hahaha
and my voice just came back and i dun feel like talking much... hur.

maybe its all part of pms too!!!!
boo.

alrite back to my nora roberts. and its the last book of the trilogy. i'm getting withdrawal syndrome again......

I LOVE PHOENIX!!!!!